Identity Theft is a Serious Crime!
by Puck's Favourite Girl
Summary: When a mission to protect Soyo goes terribly wrong, Sougo and Kagura learn that to protect something precious is the most difficult task of all and that being stuck in a cell with your enemy is better than being stuck alone. In which the Harusame accidentally kidnap an imposter princess and her insubordinate guard. Okikagu with some Yorozuya and Shinsengumi shenanigans.
1. Failures Are Recurrent Events

The Shinsengumi being an all-male organization was great in a lot of ways; eliminating the embarrassment and need to impress when it came to the opposite gender, being able to be as dirty or uncouth as they wanted and totally avoiding stereotypical boob grabs that was sure to get their throats slit and balls ripped. In times like these however, Sougo wished more than anything that they took a page out of the Mimwarigumi's book and enlisted fearsome women into their ranks, if only to avoid the horrific situation he was in now.

Currently, the Captain of the First Division stood outside the Yorozuya doorway, with his mayo obsessed and gorilla like superiors. Faintly, Sougo could feel his eye twitch. "Remind me again why we're here?" he drawled, already knowing the answer but hoping the extra few seconds could buy him enough time to come with a plan- any plan- than the one proposed.

Kondo, in typical Kondo fashion, pushed out his chest, stretching his face into a wide grin, "Sougo! Don't be so down! This won't go nearly as badly as you're imagining!"

Beside him, Hijikata scoffed, a swirl of smoke curling from the end of his ever-present cigarette. "You're right Kondo-san." He agreed, before his tone dropped, "It'll go _worse."_

Promptly, the Vice-Commander rapped his fist against the door and waited all of three seconds before ripping it to the side with the violence of machine gun. "OYYYY YOU LAZY BASTARD, YOU SHOULD ANSWER THE DOOR FOR YOUR GUESTS!"

Immediately, like a genie summoned from a bottle, or maybe a cursed spirit from a dented coke can, the Yorozuya leader stuck his head out his bedroom door, lip curled in antagonism. "Hahhh?" he sneered, "Look who's talking you rude Mayora. Don't you know breaking and entering is a crime? I'll arrest you."

Hijikata's patience already thin, the officer launched himself towards Gin, grabbing him by his pajama lapels and shaking him to the point of murdering whatever brain cells he still had left. "I'll kill you." Hijikata swore, "I'll absolutely kill you. Why is it that whenever something happens it always has to involve you?! For once I just want a job to go smoothly, is that too much to ask!?"

Bored, Gin picked his nose as his head shook back and forth, "What's this about a job? Are you tax robbers finally gonna pay us everything you owe?" Gin's smirk was all Hijikata needed to slam his head against the wall and wash his hands clean of the silver haired perm head.

"What's with all this noise! A lady needs her beauty sleep, yes!" Kagura's feet flew in the air, landing a solid kick to Hijikata's head as she rubbed her eyes of sleep.

"You could sleep forever and you would just get uglier China." Sougo deadpanned, expertly dodging the flying slippers to his head.

A torn expression on his face, Kondo jumped in between the two savages, arms waving in a placating gesture, "Now, now, everyone should just settle down. We came here with a request not to fight, right?"

The front door slid open again as Shinpachi stepped in, taking one look at the insides of his home before feeling all the energy drain from his body. And it wasn't even noon. The boy sighed. If the Shinsengumi were here, that couldn't mean anything good.

With Shinpachi's help, Kondo managed to get the yelling to stop and at least save some potential broken limbs. Emotions settled and a temporary truce laid out, the six of them had managed to seat themselves like civil adults. "So?" Gin asked, arms outstretched behind Shinpachi and Kagura's heads, "What's the job?"

Hijikata lit up another cigarette, puffing out a plume of smoke. "What we're about to tell you is top secret and can't leave this room. Four days from now, a kidnapping attempt will be made on Princess Soyo's life."

Kagura's eyes widened, body shooting forward as she yelped, "Soyo-chan!?" her lopsided grin sent shivers down Hijikata's spine, "Tell us who it is so we can crush them."

"Relax China girl, we're asking for your help to save her, but we can't alert them of our knowing." Sougo said, finger tracing the hilt of his sword.

"The Princess rarely leaves the castle for official purposes," sending a pointed look at Kagura, "But in four days she's going to be attending the Light Festival as a dignitary to boost public morale. A division of the Harasume Space Pirates are pulling off the job in order to have leverage over the Bafuku. As the Princess's escorts during the festival, we're supposed to take her to a private waiting room before the festival begins for her grand entrance. That is when the kidnapping is going to take place."

"It sounds like you have everything covered," Shinpachi said, confusion written in his face, "Why do you need us?"

"I'm sure you understand that we can't endanger the Princess's life even a little," Kondo replied, "So to ensure that nothing will happen to her, we're going to make a switch, use a decoy and hide the Princess so that when the kidnappers do come, they'll be met with our own ambush and we'll take out the whole group in one go."

And suddenly, the plan was clear. "You want to use Kagura as the decoy?" Gin asked, side-eyeing the girl.

Kagura's eyes were sharp, focusing on the ideas turning around in her head. "If it's to protect Soyo-chan," Kagura said, clapping her fist against the palm of hand, "I'll crush them and look all royal doing it, yes!"

Smiling just a little, Gin nodded his head, "Alright, we'll help you incompetents out."

Grinding his teeth, Hijikata forced his hand to stop twitching to his sword, "Don't act all cocky Yorozuya, the Shinsengumi don't have any women and we can't just put in a civilian who can't defend herself. China girl's gonna have to do."

"We'll be expecting full reimbursement you know." Gin stated, his fish eyes looking more sadistic than dead.

"I'll need extra for the emotional trauma of losing my identity for a while." Kagura added.

"And of course you need to pay the consultation fee for taking up so much of our time today." Shinpachi pretended to look apologetic but was mostly fantasizing about the real food they would get to stock up in the fridge with all the money.

"You've got yourself a deal!" Kondo boomed, looking pleased with himself before two fists flew in the air to bash him on the head.

"Idiot Kondo-san and his ridiculous ideals."

* * *

As the days rushed by in planning and ironing out the details, the Light Festival seemed to have crept up behind them like an ambush. Meeting up in the living room, the Yorozuya crowded around the table, all fired up and ready to go. "Everyone remember the plan?" Gin asked, looking sharply at Kagura who seemed to be focused on picking her ears rather than listen to him.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. It's not that difficult to remember. I don't have Alzheimer's like you, yes."

"What?! I'm not that old you little brat!"

Stepping in between them, Shinpachi's smile strained, "Come on you two, we're going to be late to meet the rest of them. Let's just hurry up and finish this so we can go eat hot pot after."

At the promise of food, the two gluttons pacified instantly, becoming all sparkles and rainbows. "Is it your treat Pachi-boy? Really? Really?" Kagura squealed grabbing her friend in a side hug.

Gin clapped his protégé on the back vigorously, "That's my boy! Always knows what to say!" Sighing, Shinpachi could feel the years on his life drain away.

At least he got them out the door.

A little while later, they had arrived at the Shinsengumi station, Gin and Shinpachi being ushered into the main hall to change into the signature uniform while Kagura disappeared. "I hope everything goes smoothly," Shinpachi worried, his hands curling around each other, "Kagura-chan isn't exactly the most princess like person…"

Smiling, Gin placed a comforting hand on Shinpachi's shoulder, "If it's to protect a friend, Kagura can do anything."

Shinpachi smiled, resolving to put his faith in his friend and finished buttoning up the uniform. Together, the two boys of the Yorozuya retraced their steps until they were outside and looked around for some hint as to what to do next. "Oy, Yorozuya!" Hijikata barked, waving them over.

The two jogged towards the vice chief and his first officer who looked suspiciously like he was trying to set the back of Hijikata's shirt on fire. A pair of keys were tossed in the air and Gin caught them, looking more excited than could be trustworthy. But considering there were no other options, Hijikata tried to ignore the bad feeling that a theft was about to occur. "Take that car over there, number 52, and wait on standby. We're heading out in two minutes so hurry up." Hijikata snuffed out his cigarette, "And remember, when escorting the princess into the car, make sure it's obvious which one she's getting into and that her face shows clearly."

"Roger that." Gin answered in mock seriousness before running giddily to the car.

"Should we tell him that all cars have a tracking device in it?" Sougo mused, arms locked behind his head.

Hijikata grinned, "Of course not. This time I'll finally be able to arrest that silver haired bastard."

Back in the car, the two Yorozuya members buckled themselves in and Gin quickly stuck in the keys. The revving of the engine made him giggle like a schoolgirl as he reversed out the lot to join the car line up outside the station.

"Oy, Shinpachi. Do you think we can keep the car?"

"Absolutely not." Shinpachi deadpanned, already knowing exactly where this was leading.

Gin nodded, "I thought so. Guess we're just gonna have to steal it then. I don't have money to fix my bike."

"YOU CAN'T STEAL A COP CAR! THEY'LL ARREST YOU! THEY'LL ARREST _ME_! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" Shinpachi shrieked, smacking Gin's arm repeatedly.

But as Gin guffawed manically, his eyes already dreaming of high speed chases and no lease fees, Shinpachi could only mourn his potential at living crime free and of them ever getting a single penny from the Shinsengumi for the rest of their lives.

* * *

Kagura was ushered into a separate room by Yamazaki who carried a bag of supplies. "Here you go," he said, handing her the bag, "Just come out when you're done."

Kagura saluted, "Aye aye!"

Quickly pulling out the multi-coloured kimono and obi, Kagura struggled to put it on but seemed content with the final result as she twirled before a mirror. Adjusting the waist a little, Kagura pulled off her trade mark bun covers and tied her hair back into a tight bun. Pulling out a brown wig from the bag, she placed it on her head and stared at herself curiously. Kagura arched her back, holding her hands above her stomach the way she'd seen Soyo do it a million times and kept her face blank. It was funny, she mused, how straightening your back and holding yourself with grace could change a person. Grabbing the luxurious fan, Kagura strode out the door putting in every ounce of effort at trying to mimic her friend's gait and felt rewarded at Yamazaki's awed eyes.

"You look completely different China-san!" he marvelled.

"That's Princess China to you, plebeian." The evil expression ruined her royal appeal however and her glamour was quickly dispelled.

"Alright, now that you're ready, we can get going."

Hurrying, the two ran outside the compound towards the sewer grate. Sliding open the grate, Yamazaki crawled down the ladder first, jumping onto the worker's ledge and waiting for Kagura to follow after, closing the grate behind her. Immediately, the girl's hands flew to her nose, her face scrunching together, "It's disgusting in here, yes!" she complained, waving her fan in front of her as though that would help any.

A resigned smile on Yamazaki's face, he simply shrugged, leading the way. "It is what it is."

They continued their trek in silence, the two of them mainly focusing on stepping onto clean pathways and trying not to puke. Eventually, they turned into a more spacious passage with streams of light flowing from another grate up above. Yamazaki glanced at his watch, "Ok China-san, you're up."

Nodding, Kagura climbed up the ladder lithely, looking down for Yamazaki's signal. She stood there on standby for maybe seventeen minutes, her impatience tapping her foot against the ladder rail and her irritation making her this close to launching down and beating the crap out of Yamazaki for being so plain. Finally, Yamazaki nodded at her, and Kagura groaned in relief, nimbly pushed the grate up and to the side only to see the underbelly of a car. Tapping it, a circular hole opened as Shinpachi lifted off the metal sheet that covered it. "Hi Kagura-chan."

Kagura grinned.

Crawling up, Shinpachi grabbed hold of her underneath her arms and helped pull her into the car. Seeing her friend, Soyo clapped her hands together in cheer, "Kagura-chan!" she chirped, "You look so much like me! It's amazing!"

"Right? Right?" Kagura egged on, revelling in all the praise.

"Yes, yes, Kagura looks like a replica of you but you need to get out of the car now Princess if we want this plan to work."

"Oh, right! Well I'll be on my way then, good luck everyone! I'll see you soon!" her farewell was caught in the echo of the sewer as she climbed down carefully, Yamazaki helping her down at the final rungs.

Reaching down, Kagura closed the grate again with one final smile to her friend before sliding the metal sheet over the car floor and tapping the back of Gin's chair. "Let's go."

"As you wish Princess." Though his tone was a mocking seriousness, Gin's smile was rife with amusement.

Gin honked on the horn three times, the signal for the disguised Shinsengumi members to stop their bumbling construction worker act at the pedestrian walkway and clear up the way for the cars. As the procession moved again, Shinpachi slid back into the front seat and Kagura took her place in the back fanning herself to curb her nervousness.

Eventually, the car pulled up at the festival main house, a luxury hotel that specialized in big events and mind-blowing entertainment. The squadron of cars lined up at the front in a diamond formation, with the exterior cars unloading their men and standing guard before the middle car, containing the Yorozuya, was given the ok signal. Gin and Shinpachi stepped out first, checking the area before Gin moved to Kagura's side and opened the door, bowing to her slightly. "Princess, we've arrived."

Hiding her face with her fan Kagura's demeanor burned with regality. "Thank you officer."

Striding up the stairs with her entourage, Kagura's every footstep was light and her chin high. She would do Soyo proud. Inside, she was met with the manager of the hotel who bowed low and spoke reverently. "Your highness, we are honoured by your presence at our humble hotel. Please follow me to your suite along with your security and aides."

Kagura bit her lip. The trouble of this plan wasn't the hotel or the Shinsengumi or even the wildcards, (meaning her and her idiotic partners), it was the aides. Those who knew the princess inside and out just by spending so much time with her. They had intended to split them up for some alone time but the offer of the manager made it awkward to implement without arousing suspicion. Glancing quickly at Gin, who's blank stare lent her some comfort, Kagura set her resolve to make this work. Marching up to the highest floor, her entourage of guards split as they covered all access points until all who were left were Kondo, Hijikata, Sougo, and the Yorozuya.

Kondo and Hijikata stayed put at the door, barring the manager from entry as he bowed his farewell. Inside the room, Sougo, Gin and Shinpachi stood near the windows and door and allowed the two aides to settle the princess's belongings and the like. Being the Blossom Suite, the room took up the majority of the floor and was fixed with the highest security features; filtered air systems, bulletproof windows and nearly impenetrable walls. The elevator only got that high with clearance access which only the people on that floor currently had plus the manager. All in all, it was a security dream, which made Hijikata and the rest all the more nervous about the impending attack.

What Kagura was more concerned with at the moment however, was how to act normally while not showing her face. She didn't need to worry though, as her aide primly stood up and bowed, "Excuse me Princess, but I would like to speak to the manager about lunch arrangements and to ensure they're accommodating your dietary needs."

"Yes of course, you may take your leave." Kagura answered, inwardly sighing in relief as the other stranger in the room was busy preparing the bedroom, which would keep him occupied for a while.

* * *

Lilia took a deep breath as she closed the door to the Princess's room behind her. This was the critical moment and it all rested on her. She had entered in this job as an expression of her loyalty to the Shogun and the Bafuku, but after months of working there, she had seen the ugly underbelly of the monarchy and was revolted. Corruption, scandal, disloyalty, the monarchy sucked the riches of the poor to support their disgustingly luxurious lifestyle and she had had enough.

"Excuse me Commander, but my lady has requested that I go meet the manager downstairs and wishes me to have an escort down to ensure my safety."

Hijikata appraised the girl before sighing. This wasn't part of the plan but he had to credit the China brat for her critical thinking skills. Anybody trying to enter the suite would try and take the girl hostage. Noting his put out expression, Kondo smiled reassuringly, patting Hijikata on the shoulder, "I'll escort her down, you just stay on watch here Toshi." Lending his arm to the girl, Kondo giggled to himself, "It's like training for walking down the aisle with Otae-san!"

Hijikata rolled his eyes, "You realize that would mean giving her away to be married, not marrying her right?"

"WHAT! Who's marrying Otae-san! No one can love her as much as me!" Kondo shrieked, tears welling up in his eyes.

Rubbing a finger to her temples Lilia forced herself to remain calm. "Commander?" her questioning stare was sweet like spring.

Kondo laughed apologetically just as obnoxiously as always and slid his card into the elevator slot. Waving at Hijikata, he walked into the elevator with Lilia and sagged against the bar. "So, miss, what's it like-" but his question remained unfinished as Lilia stabbed a needle into his thigh, watching as his hand struggled to find his walkie-talkie and warn the others.

Ripping it from his belt, Lilia's smirk spread slow like smoke, "Ah, ah, ah." She reprimanded, "There'll be no heroic rescue today."

The elevator stopped one floor below and opened up to a ragtag group of burly men. "There are four more guards upstairs along with the Princess and Chouji. Chouji won't be a problem and neither will the Princess, she'll be too afraid to fight. Let's go."

Leaving Kondo's body in one of the rooms they had rented, they re-entered the elevator, using Lilia's pass to gain entrance to the top floor. As the elevator pinged open, a man in a red bandana wrapped his arm around Lilia's neck and dragged her out, making a fuss and drawing the Vice Commander's attention. Hijikata's hand flew to his sword, gritting his teeth. "Oy," he called out, bangs drawing menacing shadows along the curve of his brow, "What do you think you're doing?"

But he didn't get a chance to say anything more as the thug grinned widely pulling out a knife and stabbing it into Lillia's back. In a soundless scream, Lillia hurled forward, Hijikata's hand outstretched as though trying to reach her. As she fell, she whipped out a tube and blew in it, a tiny needle zooming into the hollow of Hijikata's throat. Gurgling, the Vice Commander tried clawing it out but suddenly stumbled, falling to his knees before the two thugs behind Lillia ran forward, catching him before he made a sound.

Rising to her feet, Lilia dug out the plastic knife from the folds of her gown, playing with the false edge before urging her partners to be quiet and move out of sight from the Princess's door. "Give me the bag and set your timers for one minute." A man with a scar over his eye handed her a brown satchel before moving to hide and taking a breath, Lillia knocked curtly on the door before letting herself in with a bow. Her fingers pressed a button within the contents of the bag. Lillia's resolve was steel.

"Ohh Lillia! Did you bring us back any snacks? Guarding is a lot of work you know!" Gin demanded, not even pretending to move from his slouched position that blatantly gave him away as a lazy good for nothing.

"Gin-san, you actually to work to be able to say this has been a lot of work!" Shinpachi berated, wagging his finger while simultaneously modeling the frustrated-exasperated-how-do-I-put-up-this expression that Shinpachi did best.

"Shut it kid! I haven't eaten since yesterday since we're so broke!"

Stepping out from behind Kagura, Sougo's face gleamed demonically, "Oy, oy, any more noise and I'll be breaking more than your bank account. You're disturbing the princess."

Shinpachi eeped, hands up in a white flag gesture before his nose scrunched up, brows pinched together. "Hey…anybody smell something funny?" he tried to bring his hand up to his head but for some reason, he felt like he was floating, "Huh? What's going…" Shinpachi's eyes rolled back and the boy crashed to the ground like a meteorite.

Horrified, Kagura reached out, "Shinpachi!" but Sougo jumped in front of her, arm blocking her movement as he and Gin launched into an attack.

Sougo and Gin's swords flew in the air together in a criss-cross pattern locking Lillia's neck to the wall. "What kinda snacks did you bring up in here Lillia-chan." Gin's tone dropped venomously, but despite that, Lillia remained unfazed as her knees began to buckle from the light-headedness.

Gritting his teeth, Sougo tried to stay awake as the door burst open, men in gas masks pouring in. He watched as Lillia crumpled to the floor, somewhat admiring her dedication to the cause before the reality of a successful kidnap jarred his thoughts. This would be a shame to the Shinsengumi name. Sougo wasn't going to let anything tarnish what they had all worked so hard for. Grunting, he lifted his sword as though it were made of a string of weights and tried to swing it at an oncoming assailant but dropped it halfway.

Beside him, Gin had abandoned his sword completely and was racing towards Kagura, using his fists as a battering ram. "Oy! Kagu-" but Kagura's hazy stare pierced his heart and Gin's eyes widened as he noticed the needle sticking out from her neck.

Kagura rose to her feet shakily, but the double drugging did nothing but make her stumble before she finally faltered to the ground. Gin grit his teeth, forcing his body to move and reach her before he felt someone club him in the back of his head. His knees buckled and though he could feel himself falling, from the regret and from the blow and from the utter bitterness at failure, his hand reached up- in one final act of dissent- tearing the mask off his assailant's face and throwing it into the air.

Gin's body landed with a thud but he knew that guy would be there to catch it. Chuckling darkly, Sougo found the energy to jam the mask to his face, revelling in the breath of untainted air and quickly tied it around his head. His sadistic side took over and suddenly, the room was aglow with bloodshed. He could feel the tide of the fight surging in his favor, but as his sword pierced through bodies, the shattering of glass and a tremendous shockwave threw him off his feet. A metal projectile taller than he was had rammed itself at the far end of the room, the window burst open, the jagged shards looking like a beast's gaping jaws. Sougo couldn't help but stare at the sheer outrageousness of the situation.

A helicopter rose into view, the power of its blades sending everything flying around the room and drowning the world out in its cacophony. Vaguely, Sougo thought he could hear screaming and the shrill ringing of an alarm. But all he could see was the sword pressed against Kagura's neck as the man holding it dragged her backwards towards the window. "Move and she's dead."

Sougo smirked, "You wouldn't have gone through all the trouble if you were just gonna kill the brat." The sadist's twisted eyes couldn't be seen behind the mask, but the man could feel his killer intent as Sougo ran at him.

Shocked that an officer would take the risk, he scurried back, letting his team fend Sougo off as he grabbed hold of the rope dangling from the helicopter door. Clasping his hand around it, the man yanked on it and slowly it rose, slipping his foot into the loop.

Sougo was seeing red. Red, red, red blood spraying and yet he didn't seem to moving any closer. His sword reamed through a wall of men, his jaw clenched and eyes wild, "I'm not letting you get away…China!" he yelled, breaking past the wall of bodies and jumping from the window sill into the open air.

Clawing his way further, Sougo grasped Kagura's ankle, his mask tearing off his face from the wind. "Oy! Are you crazy! Let go!" the man screamed shaking Kagura before immediately regretting his decision as she slipped further down his body.

Frustrated, the man grit his teeth, "Fine, have it your way you bastard." His smile was twisted as he looked down at the hanging boy, "We'll just chop off your head anyway."

Sougo blinked, "Actually, if you could just let me off on the roof that'd be fine." Sougo deadpanned, having ignored everything the man had said, "I jumped off spontaneously but I don't really know what I'm doing here."

The man sputtered, trying to think of something to say before a hand reached out from the open helicopter door, "Tanaka, grab on."

A man with red frizzy hair tugged the three of them on board, gawking at the extra passenger. "Tanaka how much of an overachiever are you?! We only needed one hostage!"

"Shut it Jackie! I didn't do anything! He jumped out the window on his own!"

The squabbling ended as the pilot sent them a scathing look. "Shut it you two. We don't have time for this. Just tie them both up and we'll see what the boss says."

Fearfully, they both saluted him, "Aye!"

Motionless, Sougo said nothing as Tanaka tied his wrists and feet together, tightening the knots so that they dug into his skin. Beside him, Kagura was getting similar treatment. Satisfied with their work, the two went back towards the pilot side to report a mission well done. Sougo leaned his head against the wall and wondered how he had gotten into this mess. Hijikata was going to be furious.

Glancing to the side, he was slightly surprised that the China girl had actually passed out at some point. So even monsters were affected by knockout gas. Looking at her though and examining her clearly not Soyo-like features, he had a sick feeling that nothing was going to end up well.

* * *

When Gin came to, he was in an unfamiliar room, Otae standing over him. "Welcome back, Gin-san." She said softly, a small smile trying to edge its way onto her face.

Rubbing his forehead with his palm, Gin sat up, slowly recognizing the inside of another hotel suite. Beside him, Shinpachi sat on the floor, back against the wall and arms crossed over his knees. On the other side, Hijikata and Kondo were still out cold, a fresh bandage wrapping around Hijikata's neck. Gin turned his head again. No one else was there. His hands dropped with a thud, "Where are they?" the intensity of his question forced Otae to look at him only for her eyes to drop again.

Denial surged through Gin's veins as his hands crumpled the sheets within them, "Where are Kagura and Sougo?"

Standing up slowly, Shinpachi shook his head, "We were too late." He answered quietly.

"After the gas knocked you two out, a helicopter came from nowhere and broke the glass. They stole Kagura-chan from there and apparently, Okita-san jumped out to save her but they ended up just taking him too." Otae explained, distress evident in the tension in her shoulders and distraught eyes.

Cursing, Gin kicked off the blanket and stood up, clutching his head at the vertigo. "Who did this? That girl…Lillia, she passed out too, we can ask her-"

Shinpachi shook his head, "Everyone had disappeared when they found us. Maybe they had a recollection team."

Gin's stance widened as the disappointment flashed in his eyes, "What's with that expression?" Shinpachi recoiled at his intensity, "You think those brats are gonna be taken down by a bunch of measly low-lives? If they don't feed her Kagura'll probably destroy the whole syndicate!"

Shinpachi's amusement flared without his control. "She'll probably eat them out of house and home and they'll beg us to take her back." He quipped.

Gin grinned, brows furrowed in determination, "That's the spirit. So stand up Pachi-boy, those bastards have one of our own and an obnoxious cop too."

Otae smiled from behind her hand.

All fired up, Shinpachi slid his wooden sword into its loop and hummed his agreement, "Plus, I'm sure the reward for bringing back Okita-san will be enough to cover our rent for months." Shinpachi smiled turning towards his sister, "We'll be back soon Anue, Kagura-chan'll be mad if we're late to get her after all." Gin's hand clapped Shinpachi's back.

As the two members of the Yorozuya walked over to the door, a hand shot out to grab at Gin's wrist. "If you think we're going to pay you to bring Sougo back, you're out of your mind."

Sitting up next to him, Kondo smiled, stretching his arm behind his head. "Now, now Toshi, we should just go with them, that way, they can pay us for bringing back China-san." He said, looking pleased with himself.

"Hey, hey, that's corruption isn't it?" Shinpachi cried, "What kinda horrible cops are you!"

Gin scoffed, "I don't want to work with a bunch of incompetent tax robbers." At Hijikata's frustrated eyebrow tick though, Gin suddenly grinned, a serious glint in his eye, "But considering it's one of each those bastards have over there, I guess we'll settle. Though I'm sure by the time we get there Kagura will have already kicked all their asses."

"Huhh? Sougo is the best swordsmen in the city, he'll finish them all off in a second!"

"Ahh but see our Kagura doesn't need a weapon, her fists can topple countries you know. Sofa-kun is basically useless without a sword." Gin jeered, a shit eating grin on his face as his antagonisms rapidly increased Hijikata's blood pressure.

Sneering, Hijikata ripped off his bandage, standing tall and straight and dangerous. "Tch, Sougo, Kagura, either way, there's no way we're not going to take them all down and send them straight to hell." But just as soon as he finished his sentence, blood gushed out of his neck wound and he shrieked, pressing his hands against it frantically.

Next to him, Gin sobbed with laughter, his shoulders rocking as he wiped away tears with Shinpachi, as even Kondo looked away to sneak a laugh. "You just tried to look cool just now, right? Right?"

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

The helicopter landed in a rural area where nothing but long grass grew. Dragging the two hostages out of the car, Tanaka stuffed them into an unmarked car, tapping on the window, signalling to the driver to leave. Behind them, Sougo could vaguely make out the rest of the helicopter crew getting into their own car, abandoning the helicopter. Considering he was seeing all this go on, Sougo was only a little worried about his life, but more so concerned with the growing damp spot on his shoulder stemming from Kagura's infinite pool of drool. Crinkling his nose in disgust, Sougo considered jerking his shoulder so that Kagura went flying into the window but remembered that his image so far was that of ridiculously loyal guard to the _princess._ He couldn't mess up now.

They were on the road for hours. Even if Sougo had anything to free his hands with, he had no idea where they were or where anything could be. Plus, Kagura was still out cold and he had no weapon. All in all, escape was a pipedream. So, Sougo decided to stay quiet, stare out the window, and wait. Occasionally, he would glance over at Kagura, not quite sure whether he was checking to see if she was alive or because he couldn't tear his eyes away from the face he had never seen her make. Honestly, he wasn't even surprised she managed to stay asleep this long.

Eventually, the car pulled up at a decrepit port, lamps flickering from age and shops boarded up with cracked windows. Assessing the situation, Sougo's mind flickered over to the idea of escape, but his hopes were dashed when an entourage came to meet them. Shifting his body to better hide Kagura's face, Sougo stared up at the man with steel in his eyes.

"What do we have here? A Shinsengumi dog protecting his master till the end? How sweet." The man's cane flashed in the air and suddenly Sougo was on the floor, his head pounding.

Looking up, Sougo's breath caught. Standing before him was a man not yet old enough to really need a cane, but still whittled away at the bone to have greyed hair and a trimmed beard. His blue captain's uniform blew in the breeze. Sougo exhaled, his thoughts spinning. Hiro Yamaguchi. An ambitious lowlife in the eighth division of the Harusame Pirates. Not quite at the level of Captain but not just a bottom-feeder either. Hiro had risen up the ranks of the criminal syndicate through ruthlessness and cunning and had achieved enough sway to be more or less independent. Sougo smirked.

Things just got interesting.

Not liking the vibe of disrespect, Hiro jammed his cane back into Sougo's skull sending his face crashing to the ground again. "Look at me with those eyes again boy and I'll cut off a limb."

Struggling to turn his head to look up at him, Sougo's tone was cheeky, "Just a limb?"

Hiro grinned, "I got big plans for you boy. The third in command at the Shinsengumi is going to fetch me a huge bonus from the head honchos. Or maybe I'll just sell you. I haven't decided yet." Nodding his head to the side, a man stepped forward chopping Sougo in the neck with his open palm, catching him as he fell unconscious. "Put them in the cell and let's move you lazy slobs! We don't have all night!"

* * *

Sougo woke up to the feeling of cold metal biting into him and someone's stare that sent goose bumps down his spine. Jerking his wrist, he looked emotionlessly at his cuffed hands. Glaring at the source of the creepy feeling, he found Kagura gazing at him with a haughty expression. "Oh, you've finally woken up? And they call you Edo's finest." She sneered, jutting out her chin in disdain.

An immature anger flicked across his face, "I'm not the one who stayed knocked out the WHOLE TRIP here you lazy China girl!"

Kagura stuck her nose up in the air, "A woman needs her beauty sleep." She retorted.

Sougo snorted, "Shit load of good that's been doing you."

Kagura sniffed, "Yeah well, I don't even know what you're doing here, yes. Why'd they kidnap a stupid cop anyway?"

Sougo blanched, immediately looking away and refusing to meet her gaze. Surprised at his reaction for only a second, Kagura looked practically giddy with a shit-eating grin and jeering eyes. "Did you perhaps go after me Sadist?" Kagura's grin was unbearable.

Sougo scoffed, "I wasn't going after you China pig. I was trying to keep up the act. Any good cop would jump out the window to catch the princess."

Kagura's jaw dropped. "You jumped out a _window_?!"

Sougo wanted to smack himself. Or maybe finally make Hijikata happy and be the first to commit seppuku. Or maybe he'd just bite off his tongue and that'd be the end of that. "It was instinct you brat. _Instinct_."

Kagura laughed hysterically, loving the way Sougo's shoulders hunched in humiliation. "It's okay Sadist. I would've done the same, yes." Sougo glanced up, slightly curious but more skeptical, "Of course," Kagura amended, "I would have actually _saved_ you, because unlike you I'm not an incommunist-"

"You mean incompetent, idiot."

"-Incompetent who can't even do something as simple as save a beautiful princess-"

"The only thing beautiful about you is the silence that comes after I punch your lights out." Sougo interrupted scathingly, his limbs aching to fight.

Screeching, Kagura launched forward only to be pulled back by the chains on her wrists. She glowered, before a smirk pulled up her lips. Kagura tugged at the chains experimentally, looked at Sougo and grinned, "You know, they still think I'm just a human girl."

Spat forgotten, Sougo perked up with hope, "Maybe you're not as useless after all-" he drawled before a chain came hurtling at his head as Kagura whipped the bolt off the wall.

Ducking, Sougo glared. "Watch it!"

Snickering to herself, Kagura feigned innocence, "What's that Sadist? I can't hear you over the sound of your uselessness. Once again I prove that I am almighty compared to you" She cackled, pulling her other arm free, and allowing her to snap the cuffs off her arms and legs.

"It's not once again if you never actually jumped out of a window! You were just imagining it!" Sougo yelled, his annoyance furrowing his brows.

"Imagination, reality, either way I'm better than you in every single way." Sougo had never wanted to punch her in her smug face more.

Parading herself over to where Sougo lay, Kagura considered just leaving him there, but figured she'd just be back here again to save him from guilt. Being sold into slavery seemed a befitting end for a monster sadist, but even she wouldn't want to condemn him to that kind of misery. Plus, Shinpachi would yell at her if she abandoned him, which wasn't appealing in any scenario. "Despite my superiority, I'll help out a weakling like you, Gin-chan says it's good to help out the less fortunate, yes." She sighed dramatically, bending down in front of him, and pulling at his wrists, unclamping the metal cuffs without a sweat.

Sougo stilled, not knowing how to feel at the close proximity, so close he could see each individual lash that framed her eyes and feel the heat of her breath. As the final cuff fell, Sougo rubbed his wrist and stretched his muscles. "China, snap this chain in two."

Kagura scoffed, "Don't tell me what to do."

Rolling his eyes, Sougo jerked the chain closer to her, "Just do it, I need a weapon, don't I?"

Looking like she wanted to argue but determining she'd rather escape more, Kagura took hold of the chain and snapped it over her knee, handing it to him wordlessly. Wrapping the chain around his fist, Sougo smiled, looking more deranged than pleasant. "Let's see if there are any M's around here."

Letting out a battle cry, Kagura kicked down the door, the duo running down the hall, not quite sure where was what. As they rounded a corner, two guards jumped in alarm, reaching for their radios. "Outta my way!" Kagura yelled, ricocheting off the wall to kick one in the head only to use him as a launching pad to stomp on the other one.

Turning around, she stuck out her tongue at her rival, "That makes two."

Blood boiling with excitement at the prospect of a battle within a battle, Sougo surged past her, chain whipping forward to circle around another guard's neck, yanking him forward so that he could grab hold of his sword and beat him down. He wasn't sure they'd be carrying swords, hence the chain, but the sword definitely felt better in his palm, even if it wasn't his own. "And what do I get when I win China pig?"

Snorting, Kagura barreled through the horde of reinforcements, "You can be my slave for a week."

Sougo's sword arced above her head as she ducked to side sweep an attacker from behind him. "Too slow." They insulted in unison, grinning to themselves as they ran forward.

Finding a door that led to a set of stairs, they ran up two at a time until they reached the top, kicking open the door and ready to barrel through anyone in their way. Except what they saw stopped them right in their tracks. The Harusame hadn't taken them to just any port. Kagura gaped at the glass casing of the ship, watching as Earth got further and further away. The emptiness of space swallowed her whole. Kagura's stomach dropped and looking over at Sougo, she could see the resentful frustration boiling up within him. "China." He said, his proud back facing her.

"Yeah, I got it."

They launched forward, fists flying and sword swinging. Maybe there was an escape pod, maybe there was a defector, maybe there was something, something, there was always something! But the crowd around them got denser and Kagura could feel them circling, pushing her closer and closer to her bloodied partner. Gritting her teeth, Kagura jumped onto her hands, twisting in a spinning kick before hurtling up onto one of the guard's shoulders clapping his ears to knock him unconscious. As two swords whizzed past her head and her fists shot out in retaliatory punches, she watched with doom plummeting in her stomach as guards armed with guns stormed into the hall.

She glanced at Sougo, who while adept with swords and hand to hand combat, definitely couldn't catch bullets with his hands as only the Yato could. Resolving to take them out and let Sougo deal with the swords, Kagura shoved her way out of the circle only to have a spattering of bullets form a semi-circle around her feet and froze, looking up to meet the eyes of a man she had never seen before wearing a navy captain's uniform. Kagura jeered, "You dare to shoot at your princess?"

Sougo, caught between three men, glanced over in panic, that brat was going to ruin everything and they were all going to suffer for it. Twisting to reach her, he choked as a sword grazed his side, the blood staining his uniform at a frightening speed. Clenching his teeth, he ignored the pain, slicing the men in his path to Kagura only to come to a screeching halt at the sight of the gun barrel pointed at Kagura's head. "Move and I blow your brains out." Hiro grabbed Sougo's gaze, "You move too and everyone around me shoots you and her."

Sougo stilled.

Satisfied at having tamed the two beasts that had slaughtered half his forced, Hiro tapped his foot against the floor, "Now when did the little spoiled princess learn to fight like a monster?" he tapped his cane in thought before stepping over, keeping the gun trained on Kagura, and ripped the brown wig off her head, tendrils of red blowing over her stormy eyes. "I should kill you right now for wasting our time imposter brat. But I won't. Because only a Yato could fight like that and I know plenty of buyers interested in freaks like you." His smile glimmered sinister and gold, "So get on your knees and thank me for your life."

Kagura's lip twisted in scorn, "Tch, Anego's right, men do get stupider with age."

She didn't even see the gun move before the pain in her shin exploded and Kagura's tongue bled as she forced herself to keep quiet.

"I won't repeat myself." Hiro's tone didn't change though there was a hardness in his eyes at the disrespect and a maliciousness Kagura wasn't unfamiliar with crashing in his eyes.

But Kagura had spent the better part of her life fighting and being beaten and she knew that the bullets that ripped through her skin would be gone and her wounds healed the next day so she stood, unwavering. The gun boomed again though Kagura couldn't feel any new rip in her body but the distinct grunt behind her sent her heart beating in her ears. She turned around to see Sougo pushing his hand against a gushing wound in his bicep, his face vying for control. Inside her, Kagura's blood burned, her instincts shrieking for bloodshed and pain and retribution. But the Kagura who spent her life fighting against those same instincts looked around her to see no way out, guns and swords pointed at her in all directions, a wounded leg and her only ally being deadweight.

Biting her lip until it pained her, Kagura knelt to the ground, pressing her forehead to the floor and bowed. "Thank you for my life." She gritted out, and though every single muscle in her body was tense with war mongering and battle, she kept still, and thought that this was more painful than any wound.

She felt Hiro's boot bury itself in her hair as he laughed, "The strongest race in the universe is bowing at my feet. How pitiful the strong become." Bending down, he grabbed at Kagura's bun, jerking her head upwards, "I'm going to lock you and your cop friend up and then I'm going to sell you two to the highest bidder and you are going to stay put and not cause trouble or you'll die. Either by my hand or trying to make it by yourself in this heartless void we call space."

Kagura's head dropped along with her pride and the bitterness welled up inside of her. With no choice, she remained motionless as she was shackled with chains far heavier than before and was forced to march back into her cell without Sougo, who was being dragged to the medic department. Back inside, extra metal strips were bolted into the walls and once she was in place, the guard pulled out a syringe from his pack, pressing on it to make sure the clear liquid within it spurted out. "Hey, assholes, what's that?" she demanded, her anger giving her stupid courage.

The guard ignored her, stalking over to her and pulling at the end of the chain so that the pulley system tightened its hold over her, stretching her body taut and disabled. As he neared her, Kagura's eyes flashed with fear. Quickly, the needle stabbed into her leg and a cry tore from her throat as she felt a heavy blanket descend over her mind, everything becoming much slower. "Wha…What did you do…"

"Even chains can't hold down a Yato." The guard said simply, before turning around and leaving Kagura in the dark.

* * *

 **A/N Hope you all liked the first chapter! This will probably be a three chapter story considering I'm almost done. Prepare for angst and lots and lots of snark!**


	2. Attention to Detail is Critical

Soyo never really expected that she would have to wait underneath the city's roads in the sewer system with a Shinsengumi unit, and yet, here she was. Though to be fair, since meeting Kagura, her life had been nothing short of atypical. But that was half the fun, really. Regardless of the smell and the cramped space, Soyo was happy enough, looking forward to finally seeing the sunlight again and getting to hear all about Kagura's epic adventure and heroism. With some wistfulness, Soyo wished her life could be as exciting, but then remembered she was a princess and a princess's duty was to her people and not to herself.

Soyo wasn't afraid. She believed in the Yorozuya and the Shinsengumi more than anyone. She wasn't afraid at all. Until the radio crackled and Soyo felt her breath die in her throat. "Unit 1 code red, evacuate immediately to the safe-zone!"

Soyo could hear her heartbeat. Around her, the Shinsengumi's startled eyes sent her a step back, "What…What's happening!"

Yamazaki forced a smile, "It's nothing princess, don't worry about it. We just need to get moving now, okay?" his voice was gentle, but Soyo could see his edges sharpen.

"We wouldn't have to move if everything went according to plan. What about Kagura-chan! And everyone else!" Soyo pushed, hands grabbing at Yamazaki's sleeve.

The officer shook his head and urged her forward, "We'll find out more later, but for now, your safety is our priority princess."

And they were running.

They ran until they met a door, Yamazaki pushing it open and gesturing for everyone to run in. They looked to be inside what Soyo thought might've been a bunker of some sort. Soyo was handed a shawl to throw over her head and before she knew it, she was seated in the back of a car with tinted windows and zooming down the roads. "Where are we going? At least tell me that."

"We're headed towards the last place anyone would look for you." Yamazaki answered, hands firmly on the steering wheel, "We're headed to Yoshiwara."

* * *

Sougo was shoved into the cell, his hands uncuffed only to be shackled to the wall chains. Beside him, a tray of food and a couple bottles of water were tossed down, though the former looked thoroughly unappetizing. As the door closed behind him, he looked up only to find a paler than usual Kagura, her eyes glassy like she was trapped in a dream. Sougo swallowed. He wasn't scared. Or concerned. It was just disturbing, unsettling really, to see the lively Kagura reduced to a wraith. "Oy. China. Wake up." He commanded.

No answer.

"Don't ignore me you rude monster girl. I'll arrest you." He taunted again, his curved lips betraying his worry.

Slowly, Kagura's face tilted towards his, a spark of her fiery spirit glowing from within, "Sh…shut it…bastard." She muttered, her voice thick with lethargy.

"What the hell did they do to you?"

He wasn't concerned.

"Drug." Kagura's breathing quickened just shy of a pant as though talking was too much effort for her to bear. "I'll…beat it…soon." She assured, though more for herself or for him, Sougo didn't contemplate.

Kagura's voice dripped away and her breathing slowed with the closing of her eyes. Something in Sougo's chest clenched at the sight. Bending his knees towards him, Sougo buried his head in the crook. As he had expected, things had turned out very, very badly. And he had no idea what to do next.

The door flew open with a screech as Captain Yamaguchi sauntered in. Sougo felt his muscles tense beneath his ripped uniform. Kagura's lips pulled up in a snarl, some of her old spunk returning as the drug faded from her system. "Get out of here pirate scum, yes."

Unintimidated, Hiro twirled his cane as he walked around the room, surveying the blood stains and bolts. He stopped in the middle, both hands pressing his cane down to the floor. "I've found a buyer for the both of you. Just like I predicted, a Yato slave girl is what all the buyers want nowadays and you," he emphasized, looking almost giddy as he pointed towards Sougo, "You've made a lot of enemies haven't you boy? Enemies in a lot of powerful places who would just _die_ to have you." His smile was bloody but Sougo stayed still, betraying nothing and refusing to do so much as blink.

Hiro stared, waiting for weakness, but finding none, turned away from the shackled boy. "Considering my genius idea of squeezing out every last penny using you brats, I've decided not to kill you. There's just one problem you see." Hiro crouched down across from Kagura, his fingers curling around her jaw, forcing it upwards, "The big bosses want the princess." His face pressed closer to hers, breath clouding up her space, "And so I'm going to _get_ the princess."

Kagura's spit landed squarely in his eye and the captain howled, jerking back in rage. "You bitch!"

Though Kagura's body was chained, her expression blazed with a determination that refused to be quashed by any intimidation. "You're never gonna find Soyo-chan. Never."

Sougo shrugged, "Sorry boss, by now, the princess is long gone. There's really no point in trying to find her."

Hiro surged upwards, his fury enlarging his stature, his bloodlust tainting the room. "I was given strict orders to bring both of you to your new masters in peak condition. But just yesterday, you were half dead and look at you," his voice dropped, sickeningly sweet, "You're all healed up."

Sougo froze. Looking at Kagura, he could see by the shadow in her eyes and the tensing of her shoulders that she knew what Hiro was about to say next. "So I'm going to make it real simple for a little girl like you. Tell me where the princess is, or I'm going to hurt you until you can't move. And I'm going to wait until you're all healed up, and I'm going to do it again." His fingers fisted through Kagura's hair and he bashed her head against the wall ignoring her choking gasp, "And again." Her head struck the wall. "And again." With one final blow, Kagura's head dropped.

Hiro waited a few minutes, looking disappointed at the silence. He glanced at Sougo, appraising him like a spider on its web. Sougo held himself back, forcing every muscle to relax, to look impassive, to be aloof, don't care, don't care, don't care. Hiro's cane tapped against the floor. "Well, well, this is interesting. I wonder who'll crack first. The Yato doll or the government dog." He laughed, sharp and short before walking out, waving his hand for two of his men to go inside in his stead.

The door clamored shut behind him and Kagura could feel her heart thud in her ears. She had been beaten before, she had fought to the brink of death and she had seen her own blood gush from open wounds that she struggled to fix. But she had never been incapacitated. Never been unable to do anything except endure. But as the two men strode towards her, an image of Soyo flashed in her mind. An image of the country she wanted to protect, not for its sake, but for the sake of the life she lived there with everybody else. She would not give up her friend.

They'd have to kill her first.

"I'm not telling you anything, yes." She spat, blinking away the blood that trickled over her eye.

"We don't want to hurt you." The man with the golden ring said. "You're already bleeding, just tell us where the Shinsengumi hid the princess and this will all be over." He said calmly.

His partner walked to the side, turning a wheel that had Kagura's chains tighten, pulling her limbs farther apart until she was immobile, floating in the air. Sougo watched, with anger in his heart and resentment at being useless- always useless- drowning out any other thoughts in his head. He had seen Kagura fight, had fought her himself so many times he lost count, but in every battle she fought in, the determination to win and her indominatable will had always burned on her face and in her fists.

He never wanted to see that look of resignation. He never wanted to see that fear. The fear that only he could see the same way he could tell a feint from a committed attack, a fake illness from the real or when she tried to pass off comfort as an insult. Sougo's head tumbled down. He wouldn't look. He wouldn't desecrate her image by watching and he wouldn't give himself any opportunity to look like he would break to spare her. Because he wouldn't. Some things are too important to fail to protect. The fate of a country, the life of a princess, and honoring the commitment of a fighter to stay silent even in the face of pain.

No. He would not be the one to break first. He wasn't about to let that brat take all the glory.

But as a hand pulled back his hair, twisting his gaze to face her, Sougo realized it wasn't going to be that simple. "Watch." The voice commanded.

It was the man who tightened Kagura's chains. "I don't take orders from strangers." Sougo drawled, though more tense than lazy.

Sougo had no way to block the kick to the stomach, his chest heaving for breath. "My name is Grey. Now watch and suffer knowing that you're a good for nothing cop that can't even protect one little kid."

"That girl knew exactly what she was getting into when she volunteered to be a decoy. There's no sympathy from me." He responded, void of all emotion, though he followed Grey's instructions and kept his gaze locked on Kagura, trying to ignore the way her body tensed ever so imperceptibly as the other man crept nearer.

Grey said nothing, just tightened his grip on Sougo's hair. "Mark." Grey's tone implied a need to hurry and Mark pulled back his fist and punched Kagura's cheek, her head swerving.

Kagura spat blood and smiled viciously, "I'd rip you apart in a real fight, yes."

Mark made no expression. "This isn't a fight. This is an interrogation. Where is the princess?"

"Which princess? Princess Kaguya? Because I heard she's on the moon. Good luck though-" another punch interrupted her and the beginnings of a bruise marred her face.

As the punches increased in their strength and varied in their targets, Kagura did not yell. She bit back her pain and forced herself to be the strong warrior she had always aspired to be. To be resilient. To endure. To endure. To endure. But she could feel her ribs cracking from the impact and the bruising that spread across her torso and her face being bloated beyond recognition. The blood that seeped from her split lips and her head that ached from being smashed into the wall and the wrists and ankles that chafed against the unforgiving cuffs.

It hurt it hurt ithurt ithurtithurt.

Kagura's world blurred.

Silently, Sougo watched. And if his face betrayed a hint of the maelstrom of emotions flurrying within him, no one noticed. If anyone could see the bitterness that welled within him, the frustration, the anger, and the anvil of guilt that dragged him down within himself, no one commented. What good was a police officer if he couldn't protect a kid? What good was a samurai if he couldn't protect a girl? What good was anything, if he couldn't protect what he needed to?

"Tell me WHERE THE PRINCESS IS." Mark roared, his boot launching out to crack Kagura's back against the wall, her head thrown back from the impact as a rain of blood splattered from her mouth.

Eyes rolling, Kagura went limp, her head lolling downwards, her only ounce of pride lying in the secret she still held. Grey clicked his tongue, shaking his head and letting Sougo go. "Stubborn brat. She's fighting for the elite who wouldn't give a damn about her if things were different."

And Sougo knew that he was right. Not because Soyo didn't love Kagura any less, but sheltered princesses wouldn't know how to take a hit let alone survive the mental toll.

Mark said nothing, pulling out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiping his hands of the proof of Kagura's will. "It doesn't matter." He said finally, "Everybody has a breaking point." He turned to the wheels, rotating them enough to slacken Kagura's chains and send her tumbling to the floor.

"Have a good night." Grey waved, and once again, Sougo found himself in the crippling quiet.

The voices in his head were a macabre cacophony in the silence. Wailing and wailing. He couldn't sit here anymore, he needed to do something- anything- to get rid of the weight that buried him. Eyes flickering over to the supplies, Sougo crawled over to Kagura slowly. His chains giving him enough leeway to reach her comfortably, though it wasn't surprising considering the small space. He reached out, grasping her shoulders lightly and turning her over so he could see her face and not put so much pressure on her chest.

Sougo couldn't stop staring. Seeing that kid's bruised face had never made him feel anything. When they fought, any cuts and scrapes were all part of the game, nothing too serious, nothing too dangerous. A sharp sword and a bullet filled umbrella were weapons used masterfully and wielded against a rival whose movements and patterns each were so acutely aware of. Fighting to kill was how they played but they knew how to stop one inch before lethal.

They never got this brutal.

His hand shook, but Sougo pretended that it didn't. Slowly, he pulled off his cravat, wetting the cloth with water and dabbing at Kagura's face, trying not to aggravate any of her wounds. He cleaned the blood off as best as he could, even rubbing down her neck and as far into her shirt as he dared before leaning back to assess his handiwork. The bulge in her cheek irritated him, and he pressed the cool water bottle onto it hoping it would bring down the swelling, at least a little bit. Kagura's breathing steadied and Sougo had to settle for that being enough.

The minutes ticked by. Sougo wished he could take off his jacket. It was hot. And the floor couldn't be good for someone who had had their head bashed into a wall. Sougo closed his eyes. It was hot.

The swelling on Kagura's face had gone down and slowly, her eyes fluttered awake, glancing to the side to catch Sougo staring at her. "What kind of pervert watches someone when they're asleep, yes." Kagura wrinkled her nose in disgust, but winced immediately after.

Sougo sneered, looking straight ahead. "As if anyone would be interested in someone as flat chested as you."

"Shut it, you stupid Chihuahua." But her insult had no bite, and her voice reverberated weak in the small room.

Sougo reached out to drag the tray of food closer to them. He had already nibbled away at it while Kagura was asleep, but figured the earful he was going to have if he didn't save her any wasn't worth appeasing his sadistic side and eating it all. He pushed it closer towards her. Kagura looked at the food, noting that it seemed unappealing before deciding that she didn't care at all. She struggled to sit up, but a sharp pain in her ribs ruined her balance, her head stopped from falling against the floor only by Sougo's grasp. Gently, he helped her sit up, setting her against the wall.

Kagura looked away, feeling the heat build behind her eyes and her fists grip the fabric of her pants. "Stop it." Her jaw clenched.

Sougo's hair shadowed his face, "I'm not doing anything you ungrateful brat."

"Being nice to me because you feel bad? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, yes." Kagura scoffed, though it came out as a cough. "I'm this close to beating your brains out." Her threat hung empty.

Sougo snorted, trying as hard as she was to be normal and constant like a river, running, running. "You couldn't land a single hit on me even if you tried."

Kagura's fist landed against his shoulder, the impact of it barely shifting him an inch. He poked her with two fingers against her swollen cheek, shoving her face away from him and smirking at the pain that scrunched up her face. "I hope you get food poisoning and die." The vehemence in her eyes eased something heavy in Sougo's chest.

"I'll gladly get food poisoning if it means vomiting all over you." He retorted smoothly, already shifting back to his side of the room.

Kagura stuck out her tongue, "When we get back home, I'm going to have you kicked off the police force for being such a degenerate, yes."

"Attacking a police officer is punishable by arrest China." Sougo didn't look at her, already back to being bored and disinterested.

"I'LL KILL MYSELF BEFORE I LET YOU ARREST ME!"

"Die then."

"You first!"

Their argument died as Kagura's chains rattled, the sound of her munching filling the air. He didn't need to look to know she had settled into a spot with a half smile on her face. As Sougo's eyes bored holes in the door, he wondered if he was smiling too. Maybe they'd be able to make it out of here in one piece. Maybe they'd leave here not having changed.

But that was too much to hope for.

* * *

Gin had taken one step out the door before he realized he had absolutely no idea where he was going. Twisting his head around like a badly oiled doll, his expression was sheepish, "Hijikata-kun, Hijikata-kun, where are the kidnappers?"

Shinpachi's hand collided with his face as he sighed, trying his best to remember any clues or hints that might lead them to something tangible.

"How am I supposed to know!?" Hijikata yelled back, fingers already pulling out a cigarette to ease the need in his blood.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because you're the police?" Gin harped, "Oh wait, I forgot, you're all useless!"

"I'll kill you." Hijikata swore, "I really will this time."

Gin smirked, "But then you'd kill yourself trying to save me." He wagged his eyebrows obnoxiously and Hijikata was stopped from launching at him only by Kondo's heavy hand on his shoulder.

"Listen up everybody. We're going to review the video tapes and do this the old-fashioned way. We're going to find those two for sure." Kondo's surety seemed to negate the negativity among the group enough for them to proceed without a single punch being thrown. (Gin swore he didn't punch Hijikata in the head- he had tripped! Tripped! And if he had to grab something to stabilize himself, well, he was only human after all).

As they made their way to the manager's office, the group found him huddled behind his desk, gloppy tears streaming from his eyes by the gallon. "Th-the Shinsengumi!" he squeaked, hurrying to his feet and frantically rubbing at his cheeks, "Please! What can I do to help you find the princess! I can't believe this happened! Nothing like this has ever happened! Oh, the princess! How could this happen?!" the man immediately burst into tears again much to the four's horror.

Smiling uncomfortably, Shinpachi pat the man on his shoulder, "There, there, it's ok Mr. Lang, it wasn't even the real princess. It was our partner, Kagura-chan of the Yorozuya. So, don't worry. She can take care of herself just fine."

The man's tears stopped in their tracks. "What? So I…I didn't lose the princess?" hope glimmered in his eyes.

Shinpachi smiled, "That's right." Though his grin took a page from his sister's book, looking more dangerous than warm, "But you still lost our very dear friend so if you don't mind, we'll be taking over your office to review the security footage." The implied 'or else' came across loud and clear.

The man squeaked, scurrying out the door and imploring them to use whatever they wished and that he'd be with the concierges if they needed anything. Looking satisfied at his work, Shinpachi plopped down into the seat and flicked through the computer files until he found what he was looking for.

Behind him, Hijikata poked at Gin's ribs with his elbow, "You're really useless aren't you? Without those two what are you really even good for?"

But Gin ignored him, his finger digging around in his ear, "Why do anything yourself when you can get someone else to do for you, I always say." He drawled.

Hijikata looked disgusted before turning his attention towards the screen. "Pull up the footage from the external cameras." He ordered, watching as Shinpachi did as he asked without comment.

Hijikata tugged Kondo closer, "If we can find that girl, I'm sure we can make her talk."

Kondo's face pinched in concentration as he peered into the crowd, trying to make out one familiar face from a sea of strangers. Nothing. Hijikata swore, demanding to replay the video from the time of the attack again. Again and again, they saw nothing until finally Gin's gruff, "Ahh," disturbed the silence.

"Ahh? Ahh what, Gin-san?" Shinpachi pushed.

"I just realized why that ambulance looks funny, the colour's wrong." Gin pointed at the screen where it was paused to display the ambulance waiting outside the main hotel entrance, it's driver hidden behind a green cap.

Hijikata peered at the image, "Stop distracting us you idiot, how can the paint be wrong, it's red. All the crosses are red."

Gin shook his head fervently, "No, no, no. Ambulances are cherry red, the colour of Ketsuno Ana's second favourite yukata. She always points it out when there's an accident." Hijikata wanted to look disgusted, before remembering his own obsessive phase and decided not to comment.

"That still doesn't help us find the kidnappers though Gin-san. Unless maybe they're using it as cover or-" Shinpachi stopped.

All four of them seemed to have the exact same idea all at once. "Shinpachi-kun!" Kondo yelled, "Play the clip and pause it when it moves!"

The group scrutinized the screen, watching as four men dressed as paramedics wheeled in an unidentifiable body into the back of the ambulance, a familiar bandana sticking out of one of their packs. "That's it!" Hijikata exclaimed, jabbing the screen, "That bandana! One of those bastards was wearing the exact same one."

Kondo rubbed his chin, "They must have changed into the uniforms after their comrades escaped with the helicopter so they could take that girl with them."

Hijikata swore, moving Shinpachi out of the way to copy the license plate down. "Let's go to the station and send out an alert."

The group split up, Gin and Shinpachi doing what they did best and searching the town by talking to strangers and friends alike while Hijikata and Kondo filtered through security footage and traffic cameras. The crackle of the radio made Gin pause as he clicked the button, darting his eyes around looking for anything suspicious, "So?" he asked, "Do anything productive besides eating inhuman amounts of mayo?"

Hijikata clicked his tongue and ignored him, "The license plate was scanned crossing into the north-west quarter. You might have better luck searching there."

"Roger that." Gin hung up without waiting for a reply, waving Shinpachi over and revving up the car.

"I can't believe they let us keep riding this thing." Shinpachi commented, buckling himself in.

Gin's smile was rife with mischief, "What they don't know can't hurt them Pachi-boy." He nodded repeatedly and Shinpachi thought he might've been trying to look sage and for his sanity, decided not to berate him.

As they drove into a sketchy part of town, Shinpachi couldn't help but criticize the cliché. "Honestly, what is it with thugs and run down factories? Doesn't it get old?"

Gin shrugged, "It's all about the image. How are you supposed to get into the vibe of hooliganism if you're surrounded by fashion malls and school kids?"

"Well still, you'd think they'd try and change it up a litt-GIN-SAN STOP!" The car lurched to a halt as both boys were violently tugged back by their seat belts. "There!" Shinpachi pointed directly at a white truck parked in the most day-to-day uninteresting parking lot of them all.

"Shinpachi did that monster of a sister of yours finally ruin your eyes? That's not an ambulance." Gin's fake sympathy was only a little more irritating than his comments.

"The license plate, the license plate!" Shinpachi insisted, poking the air repeatedly, "They must've painted over the logo but I'm sure it's the same truck!" Shinpachi paused, "And my sister isn't a monster!"

Gin looked skeptical, but figured they had no other leads so might as well give this a shot. "Ok, ok, the usual then." He said, ignoring Shinpachi's defensiveness.

"So burst right in committing hundreds of dollars in property damage and beat people up instead of asking questions?"

But Gin's foot had already kicked clean through the factory door and he charged in with gusto. Hyped up on the energy, Shinpachi followed suit, whacking the first moving thing he saw. After starting a full out brawl, Shinpachi noticed a familiar figure dart around the perimeter of the room, keen on escape. "Gin-san!" he yelled, "It's her!"

Without needing any more information, Gin whirled around, his sword knocking the chins of everyone around him. Jumping over the fallen bodies, Gin gave chase, his adrenaline giving him wings. Bursting through the back door, Gin's eyes darted around trying to figure out which direction to go to before panicked footsteps betrayed their location. He surged forward, rounding the building corner, his goal in sight.

Gin's hand reached out, yanking Lilia by the back of her scarf and tugging her back. He pushed her against the wall, his forearm pressed against her collarbone, his body hunched over hers like a wolf. "Where are they?" he demanded, tone rife with tacit threats.

Lilia's chin stuck proudly in the air, "You can do whatever you want to me, I'll never reveal anything."

Gin's fist clenched around her shirt, slamming her against the wall, eyes fierce. "The girl you kidnaped was a _decoy_. It wasn't the real princess, it was my kid. My seventeen-year old idiot glutton of a kid who was never supposed to be kidnapped by a bunch of nut-jobs like you."

Shock rippled across Lilia's face. "What? That's not possible. We _saw_ the princess go in the car-"

"She did get into the car, except we staged a road blockage so we could switch her out with Kagura from the sewer grate. You have the wrong girl. So tell me where she is."

Hesitation. Conflict. "I…I can't."

Gin's grip loosened and his hand fell to his side, suddenly seeming so much older than he was. "What do you want?" he asked, so quiet she couldn't dare to breathe, "Revenge on the government? To support the rebels? Neither of those and just like the chaos?" he laughed, though it was mirthless, "It doesn't matter. I don't care either way. But do you really think any of this is going to change anything?"

Lilia looked away, the bitterness in her gaze prominent. "What do you know!" she hurled, "All the Bakufu do is strip this city of everything that makes it unique. They were weak against the Amanto then and they're weak against them now. We don't even matter."

"Maybe." Gin acquiesced, "But if all you're going to do is try and ruin some kid princess's life instead of trying to make some real change, then you have no right to complain." His words scalded Lilia like flames, "What did you think that was going to accomplish? You want to take down the Bafuku? All you're doing is giving them more of a reason to crackdown on change and be worse than before. It's about changing the system not the puppet in power."

Lilia bit her lip, "It doesn't matter anyway. By now they're long gone."

Gin's eyes narrowed like knives. "I failed at protecting something I cared about once. I won't do it again." His intensity raged like magma, "I don't care if they're at the bottom of the ocean or a million miles away, I'm going to find them and I'm going to bring them back."

Lilia's doe eyed gaze looked almost pitying. "How about space?"

* * *

Kagura thought she might have fallen asleep considering how startled she was when a stream of light burst through the room with the opening of the door. Shielding her eyes with her fingers, she glanced up, wary. A woman entered along with a horde of armed crew members. Walking towards Kagura, who glared up at her from her perch on the floor, the woman clipped a collar around the girl's neck with the delicacy of a surgeon. "What the hell is this!" Kagura tugged at the contraption, though it remained unbent.

She blamed it on the fact that she still hadn't perfectly healed, not wanting to consider that it was irremovable. "This is an electric shock collar." The woman replied, "But in your case, the shock is at maximum lethal level, though I doubt that would be enough to kill you. This is our insurance policy." The woman looked annoyed, like dealing with prisoners was above her pay-grade, "It took us a while to retrieve this, so please don't ruin it." She framed it as a request though Kagura could tell she had no doubts that was impossible.

"I'll be taking you to the bathroom now. You will be followed by armed guards and me. You try anything, and I can't promise that your nerves won't be damaged beyond repair whether you stay alive or not." The woman was all business as she unclasped the cuffs from around Kagura's limbs and hauled her up, ignoring Kagura's shaky legs and wobble.

"Oyy, lady, don't I get to go too? You think I have a black-hole for a bladder or what?" Sougo demanded, shifting uncomfortably in his spot.

The woman glanced at him coolly. "You can wait until I'm done with her."

"That's unfair. What happened to gender equality?" But the door slammed shut before Sougo could finish complaining.

Kagura was prodded down the hall and pushed into a bathroom lined with stalls. She wrinkled up her nose. "You're not going to watch me are you? That's disgusting."

The woman ignored her, guiding her to one of the stalls that had already had the door ripped off. "Hurry up or I'll take you back and you'll have to wait until tomorrow."

Biting back a stream of insults in lieu of getting it over with, Kagura sat down and tried to imagine she was anywhere else. Absolutely anywhere else. Or maybe at home, back in the Yorozuya office and banging on the door for Gin to hurry the hell up because she had just drank a whole litre of his strawberry milk and really needed to go. A pained shriek would resonate throughout the house as Gin wailed about horrible children and Kagura would wail back about abusive foster parents. Shinpachi would arrive in the middle of the chaos and try to mediate just to end up being the sadistic duo's new victim, their old argument forgotten.

Kagura's wistful expression disappeared with the sharp rap on the side of the stall as the woman ordered her to finish up, though Kagura noted that she tried not to look. Grumbling, Kagura pulled up her pants, feeling the weight of the collar dragging her down and trudged to the sink to wash up. "You pirates make me sick." She spat.

"The feeling's mutual I assure you." The woman replied, grabbing her by the collar and pushing her out.

When she arrived back in her cell and all chained up again, Sougo was gone and their food tray had been replaced with something equally unappealing. Kagura sighed, wishing she could've at least been kidnapped by a richer organization. Or perhaps one passionate about prisoner care. As Sougo stumbled in with a bruised face, Kagura laughed sadistically, pointing at him with a sneer. "You look like a grape."

Sougo flipped her off, letting himself be manhandled back into his spot with only minimal griping and dissent. "At least my face doesn't look like a brat's art project gone wrong."

"I'll have you know that my face is _art_ and you should pay me just to look at it."

"I'll pay you to get the hell out of my sight forever." He replied, a fake smile on his face.

"Shut up tax robber."

"Make me China pig."

As the heat rose within the room, the sliding of the door interrupted them again. "I hope you didn't forget about us already." Grey's smooth voice froze Kagura's insult in her throat and her arms unconsciously moved to cross over her chest.

"Back again?" She tried to sound brave, "You know stubbornness isn't an attractive quality, you're never going to get a girlfriend if you don't know when to quit."

"Losers like them were never going to get girlfriends anyway China." Sougo corrected.

Kagura hummed in agreement, "Even you have a better shot Sadist."

Mark shrugged as he walked over to the wheels, this time increasing their slack. "Little girls should obey their elders." He sent Kagura falling to her knees with a sick thud, "You think pretending to be brave will get you anywhere?" pulling her hair upwards he sneered, "It won't."

"Now in case you forgot the question, I'll ask you again. Where's the princess hiding?"

Kagura said nothing, staring right into his eyes with ferocity. Grey sighed. "Kids these days are so difficult. What would your parents say?"

Kagura snorted and even Sougo couldn't help the breath of amusement, "You punks were difficult first and Gin-chan says to pay someone back exactly what they gave you and extra." Her smirk was brilliant in the dark.

Mark walked over and stamped his foot into her back, forcing her to fall onto her chest. As Kagura pushed her hand against the floor to lift herself up, Grey's foot pressed down onto it. "We brought something to help speed the process along." A whip uncoiled in Mark's hand.

Kagura remained unfazed, only taking in a breath and letting it go. The men paused for a moment, in the hopes that she would just confess from the fear and get it over with, but her silence forced them to action. Sougo's body clenched, the same sickening feeling from before infecting him. The whip cracked in the air and lashed into Kagura's back. Her fists curled and her teeth bit her lip to bleeding. "Come on now, make some noise for me." Mark purred, "An artist needs recognition."

He swung his whip upwards and as it crashed down, Kagura's body moved on instinct, rolling with what little ability she had to the side, but was jerked back by her chains. The whip tore at her shoulder, her wince unescapable. "You can struggle all you want, the result will still be the same." Grey advised, looking disinterested from the whole affair.

Beside him, Sougo seethed. The need to violently tear something apart surged through his blood like venom. He wanted his sword, he wanted his sword, he wanted to fight, he wanted to destroy everything, he wanted his _sword_. Nothing ruined him more than his own weakness, his inability to do anything useful. By the time the whip battered Kagura's skin for the fourth time, she couldn't contain her scream. Her shriek pierced the tenseness of the air and Sougo felt the world freeze.

He had never heard her scream like that.

"This can stop whenever you want it to." Mark stated.

The whip cracked down again and Kagura whimpered, her shirt having ripped where the barbs cut through, slivers of blood staining it shades darker. She thrust her hand in her mouth, determined to quell her screams but Grey threw her wrists away and threatened to stab them into the floor if she tried do that again. Wild eyed, Kagura's body twisted in an attempt to quell the throbbing in her back but nothing worked and the tears pooled into her eyes. Again and again she was struck by lightning and again and again her screams choked in her throat in garbled gurgles.

Kagura's neck rolled and Sougo's eyes locked in on her gaze. Swirling in the blue were waves of torment and a deep resignation that blew a lump in Sougo's throat. She wasn't going to give up was she? She wasn't going to give up her friend was she? From everything she would have to endure, Sougo thought the shame at losing would be the thing that destroyed her. Kagura's mouth opened and Sougo could hear his heart beat in his head. What to do what to do. Can't let her talk, can't let her speak. But his mouth remained dry and useless. Kagura's brows narrowed and she spat out blood. "When those guys come, you're gonna wish…that you never even heard…of the Shogunate." She heaved.

Sougo blinked. And before he knew it, a chuckle had escaped him, his lips easing into a smirk. Mark cracked the whip in the air again, "No one's coming for either of you two. It's just us."

"You don't know what you're up against." Sougo's voice promised death, "When they've seen what you've done," his eyes glowed bloody in the dark, "You'll be lucky if they even leave behind a body."

Grey frowned, shooting Mark a concerned look. "If someone's following the ship, we need to report it to Captain Yamaguchi."

Mark shook his head, stomping his boot into the wounds over Kagura's back, relishing in her choked breath, "Don't be foolish. No one knows we've done anything and even if they did, we're in deep space."

"You know you're right. But if someone _does_ come. And the Captain finds out we knew about it, what do you think he'll do to us?" Grey insisted, trying to hide his concern.

Mark flinched, as though recalling an unpleasant memory and sighed. "Alright. Fine. You go." Grey saluted before rushing out.

Sougo felt his stomach sink, and judging from the fearful disappointment on Kagura's face, he knew she felt the same. "I'm not telling you anything." Kagura reiterated, feeling exhausted just from speaking, "So just leave already, yes."

Mark looked down at her for a second before pulling out a remote from his pocket. "When Eileen said she had a shock collar, I really didn't want to use it because it takes out all the fun. But your back-talk put me in a bad mood so…" he trailed off and turned the dial.

Kagura's body spasmed, her teeth clacking against the floor as her arms ceased to support her. The scream that tore through her throat reverberated in the tiny room. "Where's the princess?" Mark asked calmly, turning the wheels of the chains to lift her off the floor until she hung, spread eagle against the wall.

Kagura's breath came in gasps and sweat trickled down her forehead. She had never experienced anything like that before. The crackle of electricity as it triggered shrieking nerves across her body like wildfire. The twitching and the ache and the contortion of her limbs to try and quell the spazzing but to no avail. For the first time, Kagura felt true terror. She tried to glare up at Mark, but felt it to be too much effort to keep her head up for too long.

Mark turned the dial further to the left, his face impassive to Kagura's shrieks. "Where is the princess?" he repeated and still Kagura stayed quiet.

At the fourth turn of the dial, Kagura went out cold. Mark tilted his head curiously, "I thought she'd last longer, what with being a Yato and all." He shook around the remote a little, "Maybe she'll wake up if I up it a bit? Like in those hospital dramas."

Sougo grit his teeth, his wrists straining against his cuffs and drawing blood. The electric shock reverberated throughout Kagura's body like a tsunami but her eyes didn't flutter. And for a brief second of horror, Sougo wondered if she was dead. But the faint up and down motion of her chest assuaged the fear. Mark looked slightly put out, like a student whose science experiment didn't pan out the way he had hoped. "Maybe if I break a finger?"

He walked closer to the unconscious girl and Sougo's rage burst unleashed. His body lurched from his perch at the other end, positioning himself before Kagura's body. "Get the fuck away from her. She can't hear you. She's not even awake."

Sougo regretted it the moment he spoke.

Mark smiled, reaching up above him to pull at Kagura's finger. The snap froze Sougo, the helplessness intermingling with his fury and resentment but his arms were immobile with his chains and his legs were pressed up underneath him. Hopeless. He was hopeless and worthless and always, useless.

Mark's grin was demented as he kicked Sougo away. "Want to play a game? Let's see what more I can do to her before you snap." Mark's fingers stroked Kagura's cheeks as he pulled her face closer to his, "She's such a pretty thing, well, ignoring all the blood." He amended, "You can always stop me you know, if you just give me what I want."

And Sougo knew, he had made a big, big mistake. The one thing he had going for him was his façade of apathy that kept them from relying on him to snap under the pressure first. But now, now that he'd ruined everything by letting his self-control wither like life in the winter-time, Kagura was going to pay for his mistakes. Sougo bent his head.

"That's a good boy. Just give up and tell me what I want to know before I break anything else."

But Sougo stayed quiet and tried not to memorize the sound of Kagura's fingers breaking or the smell of her blood that painted the floor or the overwhelming hatred that flurried in his soul. The sound of a radio crackle disturbed the silence and Mark paused from his activities, "Mark here."

"Mark, the Captain wants to see you."

Mark's mouth twisted in annoyance, "Now?"

"Now."

"Alright. I'm on my way." He didn't leave them with any words of farewell as he strode out the door, only kicking over the wheel to topple Kagura to the floor.

Sougo caught her before she hit the ground, his hand cradled over her head, pressing it against his chest. He set her down gently, leaving her head on his thigh and reaching for the new water bottle to dab at her face wounds. He had nothing to clean the quickly scabbing wounds across her back and so settled with trying to deal with her broken fingers on her right hand. While he had once broken her arm trying to mend it, Sougo had more experience with broken fingers considering all the scuffles he'd had training with swords. They were all clean breaks, so didn't require much work, though not much could be done considering he didn't have anything to use as a splint. Resigned to having to rely on her advanced healing capabilities, Sougo waited.

He waited and waited and couldn't help himself from looking at Kagura's swollen hand, or bruised face or bloodied clothes. He couldn't help but differentiate her wounds by which were his fault, (they were all his fault because he couldn't save her from the start), he could do nothing but stare and let the horror of the situation set in. He couldn't think of an escape plan, couldn't even think of one for just himself. What if their leaders never came for them? What if they really did get sold?

What if what if what if what if.

Kagura's groan disturbed his thoughts. She blinked into consciousness, looking around before the ache in her hand drew her attention to it. Her brows furrowed, unable to remember how she had gotten broken fingers. And then she realized what her head was lying on and the pieces slowly came together. She closed her eyes again. "When did he leave?" she whispered.

"A bit after you got knocked out." Sougo's voice was shaky. He ignored it.

"Oh." She paused, "What'd he do to me?"

Sougo was quiet for a moment. "Shocked you a couple times to see if you'd wake up, but you can sleep through a war so…" Kagura shifted her broken hand in a silent question, "Then…he broke your fingers one by one to see if that would do anything."

"Okay-"

"It's my fault." Sougo interrupted, "When I saw him trying to hurt you when you were already unconscious I tried to attack him. So he broke your fingers so he could make me talk."

"But you didn't, yes?" her voice was big, in the room too small.

"No." he answered, "But I encouraged them"-

"It's not your fault." And the resoluteness in her voice crushed him, "You tried your best at the hotel and you're trying your best now."

Sougo's knee slid up and his elbow rested on it, hiding his face behind his palm. Always, always, she always saw right through him. And even worse, she always knew what to say. "Why is some bruised kid trying to comfort me when it should be the other way around."

Kagura snorted. "I don't want to know what your twisted form of comfort is."

"I don't know what you mean, I'm very emotionally adept."

"Sure, sure." Kagura agreed, "About as adept as a toddler, yes. Even Tama-chan's better than you and she's a _robot,_ yes."

"She's an exception." Sougo defended, "I've been preparing Hijikata-san for his death and removal as Vice Chief for years. I've become amazing at comforting someone about their impending doom." Sougo bragged.

"That's not comfort that's threatening! Threatening!" Kagura's body seized up at the yelling and she fell silent.

Sougo's fist clenched. "I'm going to get us out of here." He promised. "And we're going to kick all their asses and then I'm going to kick your ass."

Kagura giggled, and it was such a juxtaposition to the blood and the screams that it felt out of place and dissonant. And yet, Sougo was sure he had never heard anything quite as beautiful. "What? Can't handle the fact that you _like_ me so you have to _fight_ me?" she taunted, though her eyes were blue with mirth.

Sougo ignored the implication (it was a future he didn't deserve) and focused on the one clear feeling he had in his heart. "The only one who can beat you is me. No one else." His arm sprawled across Kagura's chest, casually (though his heart thumped in his chest), his hand dangling from her side.

She grinned and the ache seemed to fade from her face. "I feel the exact same way, yes. So don't go doing stupid things anymore. The fact that I'm not alone…makes it easier." She confessed, shy in the silence and vulnerable at the truth.

Her hand reached up to grasp at Sougo's and once again, he felt his heartbeat thud in his head, though it felt different this time. Maybe he wasn't so useless. Or maybe it was just that that brat always saw the better side of ugly things. She looked at him and took what she wanted, leaving behind all the things he wished he could discard.

He wanted to protect her.

"I can't wait to cut them all up." He glowered, his sadistic side bubbling to the surface.

"I bet I can beat up more." Kagura challenged.

"You're on China brat." And the familiarity of the banter eased his heart and lightened Kagura's soul.

"What do I get when I win?"

Sougo pretended to think, "You're not going to win. So when you lose, you have to help me get rid of Hijikata-san."

"Why do I have to go along with your stupid hobbies?" she complained before perking up, "Oh wait, I won't have to because you're gonna eat my dust, yes. So when _I_ win, you have to treat me to all you can eat barbeque!"

"In your dreams pig."

"Who're you calling a pig, you lazy tax robber!" her indignation set Sougo off into a burst of laughter that had the heat go rushing into Kagura's cheeks.

"Only you could keep acting like an idiot in this situation."

"Birds of a feather flock together you know! You're just as much of an idiot as I am." Kagura retorted.

Sougo let out a breath and leaned his head against the wall. "I guess you're right." He conceded.

And somehow, his defeat didn't feel so bad.

* * *

 **A/N Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews! I'm so glad you guys like it so far and I hope you enjoyed the latest instalment as well. Stay tuned for the next and final chapter, which I promise will be okikagu galore!**


	3. Underage Marriage is Illegal You Know!

It had come to a point where neither of them really knew what day it was or how much time had passed. Though Sougo didn't think more than four, Kagura said she didn't really care and time was just fictitious anyway.

"That's the worst answer in the world." Sougo scoffed, "You can say that about anything."

"So what?" Kagura shrugged, "Everything is made up then, yes. Especially you, you're the stuff of nightmares." Her grin was taunting and Sougo wished they were somewhere different, so they could spar and laugh and leave with a good memory.

"It's nice to know I lord over you, even in your dreams." He snickered at her flipping him off, her tongue sticking out and taking away from the crassness.

"Hello kiddies." Grey's cheerful greeting burnt over both their moods and Sougo tried to ignore how quickly Kagura tensed and how he burned at the sight.

Mark walked in behind him, looking pleased at the boy's snarl. "Today's the last day I'll be seeing you two." He greeted.

"Finally going to off yourself?" Sougo quipped cheerily.

"No, though you might end up committing _seppuku_ considering the shame you will have brought to the Shinsengumi once I get the girl to confess today." Kagura's scoff echoed hollow. "Now, now, don't go showing me that attitude again. I've come up with a beautiful number for you today, truly a masterpiece." Mark's gloating was nauseating.

He loomed over Kagura, his shadow haunting her face like death's promise. His fists tightened around her collar, throwing her to the ground face up. Feet spread out atop of her, he sat over her legs, casually sliding a switchblade out of his pocket. The silver reflected off the fear in her eyes. Gently, Mark polished the blade with his sleeve, assessing it's shine with exaggerated care. "You know, they say the worst part about being a surgeon is cutting through the skin." The blade teased her skin, prodding and caressing. "Flesh has such an _awful_ texture, you can _feel_ the skin break beneath your touch, and the blood!" his nose wrinkled, "Well, they have those suction tubes for a reason."

Slowly, excruciatingly, his fingers curled her top upwards, pulling it up her chest and revealing the expanse of her stomach. Kagura swallowed sharply, the lump in her throat growing. Her arms were spread out taut and immobile and her helplessness choked her like she was trapped beneath ice. She closed her eyes, tried to dissociate, tried to imagine herself anywhere else- _anywhereanywherehomehomehome-_ but a crushing slap forced her eyes open. Her cheek burned with her pride. "You will look at me." Mark commanded before pressing the knife into her skin right above her belly button.

Scarlet droplets amalgamated around the blade and Kagura winced, biting her lip to keep her voice silent. "Girls your age always want tattoos right? How about I give you something to remember our time together, hm?" Mark's tone was light, as though they were playing a game where consequences didn't exist and losing was impossible and they had nothing but time and time and time.

Kagura supposed that was exactly what it was.

Relishing in the agony slow cuts elicit within the nerves of the body, Mark's knife dipped into her flesh like a needle embroidering a tapestry of war. Trying to cock her head up to see the letters or symbols or whatever the lines he dug connected into, Kagura's vision blurred before anything registered. Her breath came in short pants, fists clenching in on themselves, nails biting into her palms. "Where's the princess girlie." Mark asked quietly.

Kagura's breath staggered. "Ok. Let's try this again, where is the princess?" the harshness of his tone was lost to the girl as Mark's finger dipped into her skin, widening the slit and sending her nerves howling, her brain short circuiting.

Kagura gurgled on her scream, panting harder. Mark stuck in another finger and Kagura's body arched, her wail breaking free of the prison of her will. "St-top it." Her eyes were heavy lidded and her tongue felt thick in her mouth.

"What was that?" Mark asked, his fingers twisting inside her, "You know the words." He coaxed, "You know what I want to hear."

Kagura's head rolled, her struggle plain to see in the helpless rage in her eyes and the sweat that rolled down her brow. She must have hesitated too long, because the blade was suddenly in her palm and her hand wouldn't move from its place, pierced into the floor and Kagura was screaming screaming screaming. Howling. She watched with horror as her hand gushed scarlet and the throbbing in her palm was worse than the gashes on her stomach and the pounding in her hand and she couldn't _think_ couldn't fathom, couldn't understand where she was or what was happening. Locked in a nightmare.

The world blurred.

"Where's the princess?" Mark demanded.

The princess…the princess? Oh, the princess. Just tell him where she is, then it'll be over. It'll be over. Mark's fist shattered her thoughts, her skull cracking against the floor. Another fist, another blow, the blade ripped out of her hand, another cut into her side, more blood, more blood. Was she screaming? No howling. Howling, howling. _Shrieking._ The princess, the princess. Who was the princess? Why did she care? Just tell him, just tell him, then it'll stop. She wants it to stop. .stop.

"Stop." She gasped and it sounded pathetic in her ears.

"Tell me what I want to know."

"The princess.." she whispered and desperately, desperately, her glazed eyes darted around the room.

And all she could see was him.

And though her world blurred, he brought it back into focus. Kagura had never seen anguish on Sougo's face. Had never seen suffering curve his brow. Had never seen grief whirl in his eyes. Or a broken helplessness. And for all the suffering in her body, his eyes hurt her heart worse. She thought about what it would be like to be him. To do nothing but sit and watch as his body, not hers, was ravaged beyond repair. To watch the person you held in the highest regard crash down like a wraith, so pathetic and pitiful as to stoop so low as to betray everything just to stop the pain.

Kagura ached.

She ached for him.

And in his eyes she saw his plea. Endure, endure. The softest please.

"The…princess…is gone."

And as Sougo's lips trembled almost imperceptibly, his shoulders didn't lose any of their tension and his blood didn't beg for battle any less, but Kagura was going to make it. She was going to make it and she wasn't going to collapse like a dying star and Sougo was going to get them out of this and they were going to be okay.

Mark sighed in disappointment and reached into his bag, pulling out what looked to be a canister with a thick tube at the top. "Fine, have it your way." He twisted a dial on the device and a hint of a flame sparked at the tip. "Don't worry though, I still have a lot more planned. I know how to hit a Yato where it hurts." Kagura shifted in her spot, a bad feeling sending armies down her spine, "Sunlight, isn't it? Your ultimate weakness? Look at you, blessed with such beautiful skin, but so, so…sensitive." His sigh was fake but the heat of the flame was terrifyingly real. "Well…I know this isn't a star or anything, but it's about as close as I could get on such short notice." He pressed down on the button and an arc of flames burst through the tube.

Kagura's eyes widened, trembling as the fire danced closer to her. Kagura had been burned before, a pain so excruciating she couldn't bear to remember it. She shrank towards the wall, feeling pathetic at her blatant display of fear but the terror at seeing the flames overriding any other thoughts. As though annoyed with her movements, Mark strode over, grabbing her leg and pulling her flat to the ground. He lifted the bottom of her shirt, exposing her marred skin. The flames licked closer. They took up her whole sight. Kagura's scream ripped through the air.

And suddenly, all she could see was blood.

Mark and Grey's bodies flung into opposite walls, their heads fracturing against the cement, losing consciousness. Above them, two wooden swords gleamed in the dim light. Kagura followed their trail to see the enraged faces of the family she loved more than anything and her relief almost knocked her cold. Gin's rage darkened his face, the air seeming to crackle around him before it all melted away as he rushed towards her, Shinpachi following straight after, his eyes tight with worry. "Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi's voice cracked as he took in her bruised face and battered body.

Her smile, though shaky, was happier than it had ever been. "I knew…you guys would come." And the softness of her voice, so juxtaposed against her usual brashness, clenched the boys' hearts.

Shinpachi shook his head, bitter and sorry, so so sorry. "I'm sorry." He choked, "Because of us you-"

"Stupid…Shinpachi. You guys came, yes? It's…no one's fault." Her smile was sweet and her eyes loving.

"Y-yeah." And if Shinpachi's grin was watery, no one commented.

The young samurai picked up his sword, working to slice off Kagura's chains while Gin expertly chopped off the collar, giving it a good kick as it fell.

Gin's expression darkened the more he looked at his foster daughter. While Shinpachi had rushed over and blubbered away, Gin couldn't let go of the anger that swirled within. Ripping the sleeve off his kimono, Gin quickly wrapped it around Kagura's waist, staunching the blood and giving Shinpachi a smaller piece to tie her palm with. Slowly, Gin's hand reached out, tucking Kagura's head underneath his chin, embracing her with a gentle intensity. "We couldn't save you guys last time, but I promise, revenge is going to be sweeter than all the parfaits we're going to eat when we get home."

Shinpachi's eyes softened, "That's right. It's about time we got home isn't it?"

The samurai's eyes glimmered with the hints of humor, "Ahh that's right, you said you'd buy us hotpot after this mission, right Pachi-boy?"

Kagura tilted forward in excitement, "I haven't eaten in days." She encouraged, "I want-" her body froze up for a second, much to Shinpachi's frantic concern, "I want hotpot." She finished resolutely.

The boy sighed, looking bullied and resigned but not all that sad about it. "Fine, fine. But somewhere cheap. None of that high-class nonsense."

Kagura's smile was bloody, but Gin and Shinpachi's relief was no less paramount. It was going to be okay. They were going to go back home and go back to being idiots and they were going to slaughter some space pirates. Perfect.

Sougo knew the minute the door had burst open it would be those two Yorozuya idiots making a mess and some cheesy speech. But seeing the light in Kagura's eyes burst like fireworks, he couldn't even find it in him to criticize the cliché. Consumed with the sadistic glee at seeing those two bastards get knocked out, he didn't notice that a sword was whipping his way until his hands fell to the floor, cuffs shattered beside him. Startled, Sougo whipped his head up. Truly, he had never been more excited to see Hijikata in his life. Or rather, what Hijikata was holding out towards him. Sougo's sword fit perfectly in his palm, and yet, he didn't know what to say.

"A simple 'thanks Hijikata-san that was thoughtful', would be nice." Hijikata supplied for him, ignoring as Kondo burst into teary theatrics over how grateful he was that Sougo was fine.

"I'm okay Kondo-san. I'm fine." Sougo insisted, patting his commander on the back like he was an inconsolable child.

Sougo's eyes caught Hijikata's, "Thanks."

Despite the curtness, his gratitude was clear. The vice chief looked slightly startled, quickly glancing away and grunting. "Yeah, whatever. You'd be deadweight otherwise."

Except Sougo knew his sword had been lost in the fray of the fight within the hotel room, which meant Hijikata had to have sifted through junk and shattered glass to find it. Something warm blossomed inside him, but he quashed it as soon as he felt it. Tch. He didn't need anything distracting him for his next assassination- er, training exercise.

Gin stood up, surveying the room and finally acknowledging Sougo. He frowned as he noted his lack of disarray and Sougo couldn't meet his eyes. The air seemed to get denser before Kagura dispersed the negativity, clutching Shinpachi's side in an effort to walk, "What is everyone standing around here for? Let's get out of here, yes!"

"You came in on a police spaceship?" Sougo asked, already up and stretching out his aching limbs.

"They already know we're here." Kondo's sword shined like a beacon.

"Oh, what makes you say that gorilla?" Gin posed, though his sarcasm was evident considering the hallway had filled with pirates, all glowers and blades. "Shinpachi." Gin commanded, but he needed no words.

Shinpachi's brows were tight with determination, his grip around Kagura's waist firm. "I know."

Kagura's head bowed, overwhelmed with emotions, but also feeling like more of a burden than ever. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Sorry? Sorry for what. We're the Yorozuya, when one of us is in trouble, it's up to the other two to protect them." Shinpachi's smile was kind and Kagura's head rested on his shoulder for only a moment before her fist, being irrelevant that it was still healing from being broken, punched into an enemy's face.

"Kagura-chan! I just said we're going to protect you!" Shinpachi shrieked, his sword flying around them in his spare hand.

"You weren't paying attention!" she defended as she stumbled along beside him.

Shinpachi's berating was drowned out by the clash of metal against metal as around them, a circle of protection formed. Gin's sword slashed into everything that moved, the fierce need to protect and the sick need for vengeance fueling his every move. Sougo ducked in behind him, slicing into a pirate's legs before swinging around in a kick and a parry. Every time his sword landed a hit, he felt just a little better, like a weight was being alleviated slice by slice. Beside him, Hijikata and Kondo seemed to stray just a little too close, like they were worried he'd disappear in the blink of an eye. He thought he should feel stifled. But even he couldn't ignore how much better it was to fight alongside your comrades more than anyone else. He wouldn't call them out on it just yet. He'd enjoy the feeling of home just a little while longer.

Barreling through the hordes of pirates, the group made its way back into the atrium Sougo and Kagura had found themselves trapped in before. Sougo looked around, noted that there was no sight of an escape route, and sighed. "We're lost."

"What! Lost! Gorilla what kind of leader are you!" Gin exclaimed, thwacking Kondo over his head.

"Me?! I was following Toshi!" Kondo defended, pointing at his Vice Chief.

"Whaddya mean you were following me? I was just running!" Hijikata retorted, already feeling tired and craving a cigarette.

Sougo shook his head in disappointment, "I've never seen a worse rescue team in my life. You're all useless." His voice thick with scorn.

As the arguing continued, Shinpachi's attention was drawn towards the wall of screens displaying security footage from all over the ship. As his eyes fell across the screen number seven, he blanched, shaking his head in denial. "No, no, no, noooo." As though emphatic repetition would change the inevitable.

Kagura glanced up at him curiously, before looking at where Shinpachi was intensely staring and yelled, "Nobody was guarding the ship?!"

The screen showed the loading dock where the Shinsengumi had parked itself, which would have been fine save for the figure tossing a black ball onto the roof of the ship before darting away. Three seconds later, all visibility was lost from the smoke that choked the air and their ears rattled at the sound of a boom that beat in their chests. Kondo's jaw dropped, panic swirling in his eyes as Hijikata's horror consumed him. "We're dead." Kondo mourned, looking like he was already in his grave, "The old man's really going to kill us this time!"

"We have no money to pay for this." Hijikata panicked, whipping out his sword and lurching around aggressively, "Whoever blew up our ship better walk into my blade right now!"

The tapping of a cane caught his attention as Captain Yamaguchi strode into the room followed by a horde of crew members. "Walk into your blade? Oh no." he shook his head smirking, "I do hope you're all prepared to die or be enslaved. You have no escape now." He boasted. "You don't see this kind of tactical genius every day, you know."

"Actually, that's one of the stupidest ideas on the planet and in every space drama ever made." Sougo's words dripped venom and his blood blazed with fury as he lunged towards the captain, sword drawn. Immediately, Hiro defended against the blow, his cane clattering to the ground as he whirled, stabbing into Sougo's right side, missing by an inch. Sougo's sword clashed against Hiro's, sparks flying from the friction. He was going to kill him. Slice him up, ribbons of red bursting out. Kill kill kill killkillkilll.

Sougo's sword grazed the side of Hiro's neck, a droplet of blood staining the metal. "We're not planning on escaping." He hissed, fully aware of the battles going on around him between his allies and the crew. "We're going to-"

Kagura's flying kick came out of nowhere as Sougo's sword carved through empty space. Hiro flew back from the weight of the girl's attack, his face bruising rapidly. "We're taking over your ship and arresting all of you scumbags." Kagura gloated, sporting that haughty expression that sent Sougo in a tizzy, "So bow down to your new captain maggot."

Kagura managed to look cool for all of three seconds before howling, arms clutching at her side, globby tears welling up in her eyes along with a puffy pout. Sougo smacked her over the head, ignoring her wail of indignation. "What are you doing you stupid brat!"

Gin spun over, his sword whacking someone over to the opposite side of the room, the most irritating grin Sougo had ever seen plastered on his face, "What? Are you jealous she stole the ending? Is that any way for an officer to behave? Tsk, tsk, so childish."

Kagura turned her nose up, "Honestly Gin-chan, look at how they waste our tax dollars on these babies, yes." How she managed to sound so condescending while clutching her waist in pain the sadist cop didn't know.

Sougo's brow twitched. "You don't even _pay_ taxes."

Gin and Kagura shrugged, looking like the biggest pair of idiots he had ever seen. "We don't even have enough money for food, what do you expect us to give to the government?" Gin defended, picking his nose.

"We could give them Shinpachi's Otsu CDs, yes." Kagura suggested, grinning gleefully at Shinpachi's horrified cry.

"No, no, nobody wants that except otaku dorks." Gin shook his head, patting Kagura on the head for a decent effort.

Immediately, the three launched back into action as Hiro, finally recovered from Kagura's blow, wobbled his way over, sword drawn. Gin glanced at the two kids, allowing himself the smallest of smiles, before turning away and fighting a different battle. Those two could handle it.

"Aren't you going to drop dead yet China?" Sougo drawled, bending into a defensive stance.

Kagura huffed, staying at his right so he could guard her weak side. "Don't underestimate me Sadist. I could still kick your ass on my _deathbed,_ yes." She flew into a jumping punch as Sougo elevated her attack by stabbing at Hiro from below.

Hiro twirled his sword, blocking against them both before jumping back, launching out a kick and spiralling his sword to aim at Kagura. Sougo parried the attack, before realizing a second too late he had left his side wide open. He braced himself for a blow that never came as Kagura's leg kicked away Hiro's arm, leaving Sougo able to slash into the man's knees, watching with satisfaction as he tumbled to the ground with a muffled scream.

Kicking him down, Sougo jabbed his foot into Hiro's back, looking like a lion about to devour his prey. "Now watch as we take over your ship and send you to prison for the rest of your life." And Hiro swore he saw the devil in those bloody eyes.

As Hijikata sauntered over with an overenthusiastic spinning of his handcuffs, Kagura's breath staggered and she felt her strength drain. Gently, her body fell against Sougo's. The boy felt his heart flutter and he stuffed the feeling far down so he wouldn't have to acknowledge it. "You're heavy." He muttered instead.

"Shut it bastard I'm tired, yes."

Beside them, they heard the last body thud to the ground and watched as Shinpachi felled the final crew member with a cry of satisfaction. "Ok." Gin called after looking at the control panel for all of two seconds before giving up, "Anybody actually know how to fly this thing or what?"

Kagura grimaced, her face buried in Sougo's shoulder. "Gin-chan's gonna kill us, yes."

Sougo's eyes flattened with disinterest, "You're not allowed to die yet China, I still own your life from how many times I've saved it." But Kagura didn't do anything more than snort and he was feeling just a little better than content, so Sougo thought it'd be okay if he wrapped an arm around her waist- just to make sure she didn't fall and drag him down with her.

Considering no bones were broken or bruises forming, Sougo figured Kagura thought it was okay too.

* * *

 _Three Days Later_

Shinpachi folded his newspaper in two and sullenly dropped it in the trash. "Why is it that whenever we make the news it's always under the crime section?" he bemoaned, half sliding off the couch.

Gin waved his hand in the air, "Everything is arbitrary Pachi-boy. Nothing is even real. Look at us, for all we know, we could just be the figment of somebody's sick imagination."

Kagura snickered, "Well they must not be very smart, yes, considering how plain Shinpachi is. Without his glasses, does he even exist?"

Shinpachi shot up, "HEY! I can hear you, you know! I'm a human! HUMAN!"

But Kagura feigned deafness, ignoring him in favor of stuffing her face with some squid skewers.

"At least we got the ship back to earth." Gin defended, boots crossed over the desk top and hands cushioning his head, "Sure it got a little dented in the landing-"

"We crashed it Gin-san. _Crashed it._ "

"-But the point is, we arrested a whole pirate squadron and we STILL haven't gotten any compensation so what's the REAL crime?" Gin cried, fist slamming against the table.

Shinpachi's face fell into his hands and he wondered if a person could possibly die from disappointment. Reflecting on his life, he figured not. But one could never be too careful.

"Well," he said, mustering up a smile, "At least Kagura-chan's okay. You were really brave you know." Shinpachi's arm wrapped around to gently pull Kagura into his chest in a side hug.

Kagura blushed slightly, hiding her expression behind her free flowing hair. "What kinda samurai are you, getting all sentimental, yes." But she didn't push him away. "I'm just glad Soyo-chan is safe." She exclaimed cheerfully.

Gin shivered, looking increasingly tired, "You're never allowed to be kidnapped again Kagura. Gin-san forbids it. If I have to hear that girl's screaming and worrying one more time, I really might just die."

Kagura stuck out her tongue, expertly dodging a tissue box projectile. The trio settled into a comfortable silence, one filled with the relieved contentedness of everything being as it should be and everybody being exactly where they ought to be. Except, as it always happened with the Yorozuya, things never stayed quiet for long. The front door fell ungraciously to the floor, a boot sized hole in the middle, and the trio's heads swiveled around, bug-eyed at the unfortunately commonplace audacity.

"Oyyy China. I heard your monster strength is back to normal so now it's time for you to live up to your promise." Sougo's bored drawl echoed in the room and Kagura's face slackened.

"What kinda cop are you, breaking down innocent people's doors!" she yelled, already on her feet and ready to kick the sadist cop back into space.

"Is that any way to speak to your superior?" Sougo taunted, smiling with a sadistic kind of excitement, "Wasn't it you who suggested we have a competition when we escaped?"

Kagura blanched. At the sight, Sougo's smirk widened. "And wasn't it also you who wanted to bet on the winner?" The girl's gaze immediately dropped to the side, heat building up behind her neck. "I'm also sure, that considering how utterly useless you were during the whole escape, that like I predicted, I kicked your ass and therefore, you need to help me assassinate Hijikata-san."

"Now wait just a second," Gin interjected, "You can't just go strolling in here and steal one of our valuable workers. We have a livelihood to upkeep! A certain standard of living!"

Sougo pulled out a wad of cash without hesitation, "I'll pay for all of this pig's meals until Hijikata-san dies."

"Done!"

"Gin-chan!"

"Listen Kagura, your food expenses make up at least 60% of our costs. Do you know how much money we'll save! It's just economic!" Gin insisted.

"With all the extra money, I can buy you those cute trinkets you like." He offered a few seconds later.

Kagura turned the deal over in her head. "Fine." She agreed, "But if I'm gonna do an assassination, I'm gonna do it right so don't expect this to last long." She warned, pointing her umbrella directly into his face and relishing in Gin's squeak of terror.

"Aye captain!" he saluted.

Turning back towards Sougo, Kagura cocked one elbow over her hip, "Let's hurry this up Sadist, I haven't got all day to waste like you do."

Without skipping a beat, Sougo grabbed hold of the girl's arm and dragged her out, "I'm the one with the real job idiot China girl."

"Sleeping and harassing me doesn't count as a job, yes."

"It's reconnaissance, _reconnaissance_." He insisted.

Kagura's eyes rolled like the waves. "You're stupid."

Sougo's elbow jabbed into her side. "You're an idiot." He retorted.

"Yeah well your hair's dumb looking and I'm hungry." She declared, punching him into the wall before dramatically pressing her hand against her forehead and widening her eyes, "I'm going to die of starvation. Look at me, I'm withering away! How am I supposed to work when I feel so weak?"

Sougo leered, grabbing her by the waist and throwing her into a storefront door, cackling at her affronted grunt. "Hey Sadist! What was that for!" Kagura's clenched fist shook before her face.

Sougo shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets all nonchalant, "You said you were hungry, so I, being a gentleman, decided to take you to one of the nicest restaurants in Edo, be grateful." He strode in graciously, stepping over Kagura's sprawled body to approach the startled waitress. "Table for two." He said cheerfully.

Stuttering her greetings, the waitress walked them over to a small table with a nice view of the street before Sougo shook his head. "Actually, I think we need that table over there."

"But sir…that's a table for six."

Sougo's expression flattened as his thumb pointed behind him at a now slightly docile Kagura, "That monster girl's going to eat you all out of your rent for this month, so the bigger table is really just for your own convenience."

"…Right. Right of course sir, please take a seat."

Kagura plopped down onto the booth side, scanning the menu eagerly. "Miss! Miss!" she called, "I want everything!"

"Excuse me?" she asked, barely hiding her disbelief.

"I said I want one of everything, yes! And water! Lots of water and apple juice!" Kagura cried, eyes shining with glee.

In front of her, Sougo snorted, hiding his chuckles behind his hand. "Double the order for all the meat dishes and anything else that's good around here." He added and snickered to himself at the waitress's slightly glazed expression as she walked away.

"So tell me China, how many all-you-can-eat places are you banned from now?"

Kagura shrugged, sliding in her seat, "I dunno, it's hard to remember which ones are my fault and which ones are Gin-chan's for disorderly behavior." And Kagura looked so genuinely confused that Sougo couldn't help but actually laugh this time.

Kagura's cheeks blossomed, "I'll kill you." She threatened.

Sougo didn't have enough time to shoot back a retort as the first round of food was delivered to their table. Immediately, Kagura's hands dove into the fray, shoveling spoonfuls of rare meats, noodles and what Sougo thought might've been a decorative garnish into her mouth at an ungodly speed. Somewhere between amused and sickly fascinated, Sougo rushed to stab something onto his fork before it disappeared into the gluttonous vortex that was Kagura. "Thish ish good." Kagura garbled, a shrimp tail dangling from her mouth.

Sougo nodded, unconsciously speeding up his pace to match her own. As if sensing a competition for the remaining plate of spring rolls, Kagura's eyes glinted and her reflexes sharpened, chopsticks launching out to stab the golden rolls of deliciousness. Sougo beat her to it, snickering as he gobbled it down before choking as the pastry scalded his tongue. Cackling madly, Kagura reached over to grab the meat skewers in his plate and gobbled them down, pausing to splash her water into Sougo's open mouth, dribbling it all over his chin.

"That was just unnecessary China." He deadpanned, wiping at his front only a little petulantly.

"I was saving you from becoming a mute. Do you want to become the boy known for burning his tongue off eating a spring roll!" Sougo's lack of reply encouraged her to abandon all conversation in favor of eating.

Affronted at her renewed ignoring of his existence, Sougo launched himself into the battle for food, determined to out eat the Yato girl even if had to die trying. As the last plate was polished, one slightly nauseous but two utterly impassioned faces locked gazes with the waitress, "EVERYTHING AGAIN!" Glaring at one another, they broke concentration only to begin eating again.

Eventually, Sougo felt like he was going to die. His stomach was straining against the tight waistband of his slacks and he was sure his face was green with gluttony at this point. Flopping backwards he groaned. "I can't believe you're still eating." He muttered, "You're incredible."

Kagura grinned, her belly getting rounder with satisfaction. "I know. I'm one of a kind. I can even out-eat Papi. And he's an alien hunter." She boasted.

Sougo raised an eyebrow, watching as she continued eating with such a gusto it awed him. He never wanted to see another restaurant ever again. Or food for that matter. Or anything even remotely edible. Finally, Kagura licked the final grain of rice from her fork and Sougo wondered how anybody could have such a negative sex appeal. They decided to get some tea and wait to digest a little before even attempting to move out. When Sougo got the bill, he was pleased at how cheap it was compared to what they ate, but was nonetheless unsurprised when he was asked never to bring himself or his lady friend back to the establishment ever again.

Promising to never return, Sougo grabbed hold of Kagura and half-jokingly rolled her out the door like a ball. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO A LADY!" She shrieked, shooting up to her feet.

Sougo pretended to look around, "Lady? I don't see anything but a pig."

He blocked her incoming fist with his forearm, using his other hand to grab at her swinging foot, twisting her ankle so she spun in the air only to whack him in the head with her other leg. Sougo grinned, feeling his blood pump as his fist struck out to hit her in the stomach before immediately stopping one inch before and leaving himself wide open to a blow that threw him flying back. Kagura glared, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

Sougo looked away.

"You don't have to dance around eggshells for me, yes." Sougo bit down the need to correct her incorrect expression, "I'm completely fine." To prove her point, she lifted up her shirt, her skin just as smooth as it had been before the whole mess had started. "You want to hit me, hit me!"

Sougo was mesmerized by the conviction in her stance and the demand in her tone. They didn't need to use words, their fists would speak for them. Their choreographed dance would express all they needed to. The past meant nothing in the face of their future (and Sougo wanted that future, he wanted it so bad).

"Be careful what you wish for China." As Sougo launched from his spot on the floor, his speed hid the grin on his face.

His fist rocketed into Kagura's face but was blocked by a well timed knee jab. Pulling back, Sougo struck Kagura in her chest only for her to parry his next blow and jump over his head in a flip that sent his heart fluttering. Kagura laughed as one of his kicks fell flat though it held no real malice. Grunting, Sougo went all in for his uppercut to get back at the teasing but she grabbed his fist in her hand with ease and tugged him into her. He could feel her hand slip from his to tighten around his cravat and suddenly, all he could register were her lips.

Sougo's brain short-circuited. He tried to jumpstart his thought process but all he could focus on was the fervor of her kiss, her hair tickling his cheeks and the fluttering of her lashes as her eyes closed. Kagura pulled away, suddenly feeling nervous, but Sougo's arms wrapped around her, clasping her against his chest. He definitely didn't want her to see whatever stupid expression he was making right then.

"Don't kiss me when you taste like soy sauce. It's gross." He wondered if he sounded as breathless as he felt.

"Oh because tasting like chilli peppers is any better, yes." She retorted, her voice muffled by his jacket.

Feeling mortified at Sougo's response, Kagura pushed away from his embrace and forced herself to be assertive. Pretending like her face wasn't heating up in the most embarrassing fashion, she pressed her finger into his chest. "L-listen to this because I'm only gonna say it once, yes! I want to spar with you. And I want to fight scummy pirates with you. And I want to be the only person who gets to kiss you." Kagura forced every muscle in her body to stay still and not crumble from suspense.

Sougo looked away, his hands gently reaching out to brush Kagura away. "I'm a selfish bastard you know." His voice was tight with doubt.

Kagura nodded. "I know. But it's okay because so am I."

"I've killed more people than you've ever even seen."

"I'm a murderer." He said after a pause.

Her eyes were steel in their resolve. "Your sword is used to protect. Just like my fists."

He glanced up, expression somber and so uncharacteristically small. "I couldn't protect what I wanted to. Not then, not now." Kagura could practically hear her screams and tears reverberating in his mind, could feel the weight of every bitter loss he carried on his back.

Kagura's fist tapped firmly into his chest, her mouth tight. "Since when have you been a coward? Neither of us have ever been able to always save everything we wanted to. But we're still here aren't we? When that guy was… asking me about Soyo-chan, I almost gave up. But I didn't." her conviction was magnetic, he drowned within her pull, "Because of you." She asserted and suddenly he was breathless, "And back then, we saved that Gorilla didn't we? And this town, and this planet, yes. So maybe we lost sometimes. That doesn't mean nothing has been worth anything."

Her palm flattened so she could feel his thudding heartbeat. "I want to protect what's important to me too. And I want to do it with you, you stupid sadist. I'm practically in love with you." Kagura's gaze dropped, eyes burrowed onto the ground, "I'm not refined like Anego or elegant like Tsukki or as…experienced as Sachan, but-"

Sougo moved faster than Kagura could register, taking her hand from off his chest to brush her knuckles against his lips. "That's not fair." He complained, though Kagura could see the break down of his will and the desperate relief in the curve of his brow, "Here I am fully in love with you and you're not even there. I demand compensation."

For all her confidence, Kagura looked startled, "I…what?"

"Did you suddenly become deaf China girl? I said I love you." Humor crinkled up his lips though his eyes were resolute in earnestness.

"You love me." She repeated, before a rain of relief washed over her and her smile glowed like the sun banishing the clouds. "Well good." She huffed, "Because I had big plans of parading you around town as my eternal servant and doing stupid couple stuff with you and one day having you killed off due to an 'unfortunate accident' to get rich off that widow's pension, yes."

Sougo laughed light and free, unburdened by the crippling fears he had felt for so long. In the end, Kagura was right about him being a coward, too afraid to face his insecurities head on, he had let that little brat take all the glory in confessing. Determined to right that wrong, he trapped her wrists within his grip and pushed the frazzled redhead against the alley wall. "Don't go thinking this was your idea. I already decided I was going to marry you. Why else would I subject myself to letting you eat my chances of ever being a house owner?"

Kagura met his gaze with a warm fire, "Tch. Don't be ridiculous, if I hadn't said anything you'd probably never have done anything." Her tone was endearing despite her teasing. "But since we're together now or whatever, I hope you know that if I ever catch you cheating, I'll string your intestines around the city and make you eat your balls." Her grin was as demonic as it was radiant, but despite the threat, Sougo thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"That's funny." He countered, "Because I've already put in place three preventive measures against potential assassinations and two public humiliation punishments if I ever see you with another man." His breath intermingled with her own as his lips moved dangerously closer to hers.

"How dare you accuse me of adultery you jealous Sadist. I'm in this for the long haul." She retorted.

"Hahh? Are you trying to out commit me?" his voice was rife with amusement and suddenly, his lips were on hers like a meteor shower. "I want you." He declared, "I want the excitement I feel whenever I see your stupid face and playing out those dumb skits we do. I want everything about you from your obnoxious smile to all your burdens." His kiss was hard against her mouth, "Nobody else will do anymore." And his assertiveness made Kagura's knees tremble, "No one gets to beat you except me but-"

Kagura's eyes glimmered like the stars, "-But it's always more fun when we fight together, yes." She finished, before looping her arms around his neck and laughing into her kisses.

Sougo's chest was pressed up tight against hers and Kagura's fingers were fisted into his hair and despite the increasing heat in every part of his body, Sougo suddenly paused. "Hold on, just how much money are we talking?" he interrupted, more than slightly pleased with himself when he noted Kagura's pout at the broken contact.

"What the widow's pension?" Sougo nodded curtly and Kagura's smile turned positively wicked, "Enough to buy that house, yes."

"City hall closes in an hour…" Sougo suggested casually, but Kagura's hand was already clamped around his and the two were running down the streets of Edo, the thrill of a crazy scheme and love and stupid fun blurring the world. They ran down the streets they loved, conspiring about how best to die and how to convincingly act aggrieved. Kagura's grin sent rockets launching in his heart. Really, Sougo thought, if there was ever a person he'd choose to rip off the government and fake his own death with, there was no one else he'd rather have.

(and if they ended up getting caught by their friends and lectured until their ears bled, well, it was all worth it to see the glee laughing in Kagura's eyes. Truly, she was the only one for him)

* * *

 **A/N Ahhhh it's over, though it was super fun to write. I hope you all liked the ending, I had a lot of trouble with it to be honest, because I feel like Sougo actually would have a lot of issues in committing to someone due to his own feelings of inferiority. That said, the reason why I ship okikagu is because she sees right through him and always knocks sense into him. She sees him for what he is and I hope I managed to convey that well enough.**

 **Thank you for reading this and to everyone who reviewed and here's a sneak peek for the plot of my next okikagu fic!**

If it's Illegal, it's Probably Tax Free

Really, it was all their boss's faults for not paying them enough. In which the idiot pair, broke beyond belief and desperate for some cash, decide to launch a get-rich-quick scheme. Naturally, they start a fight club.

Needless to say, when Hijikata finds out, he'll kill them both himself.


End file.
